Let's go back to thinking about how tiny babies grow up into amazing kids.

Yes, yes! Thinking lots of good thoughts for baby Reece.

Jess, both of your kids have the most AMAZING eyes. They're just gorgeous.

Gah, I am a moron who cannot communicate at all and I still want to stab EVERYONE. IN THE FACE.

I had that yesterday. Do you think it passes through the cable?

I am SUCH a bad interviewer. I think I need to write myself a script and stick to it, but every time I am interviewing I am desperately busy.

What is weird is that I am a good interviewee. When I was younger and looking for jobs, I had a hard time getting an interview, but I almost always got the jobs I interviewed for.

I had that yesterday. Do you think it passes through the cable?

It must, although I seem to have a chronic strain.

I'm increasingly aware that I don't process spoken language like most people do, and I try to not misunderstand things. Or, rather, if someone says something that seems "off," I try to figure out if there's a different reading of what they just said; 9.5 times out of 10, there is, and I just understood what they said differently.

But sometimes a statement's meaning seems obvious to me based on context. For instance, knowing what I know about a given situation, "You are on fire!" probably doesn't mean I am literally engulfed in flames -- unless I'm standing too close to a bonfire.

So this morning, I had one of those situation where I was sure I understood what chatty!co-worker said, due to context, but of course I misunderstood.

He told the 3 of us in my area "If [so-and-so] doesn't e-mail us, we are off work on MLK Day." I assumed the "if" was conditional -- meaning, if she does NOT e-mail us, we are off work, but if she DOES e-mail us, we have to work Monday. It makes grammatical sense, and, frankly, it's the way my office works. No clear holiday schedule -- just try to guess if we're off.

So my reaction was "I thought she already told us [in person] that we're closed Monday -- why would she change her mind?!?" And, of course, she didn't change her mind. That wasn't Chatty's point at all. What he meant was "[So-and-so] told some of us *in person* that we are closed on MLK Day, but she hasn't sent an e-mail yet. If she never gets around to e-mailing, those of you who weren't told in person might not know that we are closed on MLK Day. So, to be clear, we are closed Monday."

I will never, ever get it right.

Chatty was unclear.

"If [so-and-so] doesn't e-mail us, we are off work on MLK Day." I assumed the "if" was conditional -- meaning, if she does NOT e-mail us, we are off work, but if she DOES e-mail us, we have to work Monday.

Your interpretation would be what mine.

The take away should be that you have off on Monday!

We don't get another holiday until Memorial Day.

That's a sentence that changes completely based on tone of voice. Emphasis one way, it's "if X then Y" but change the tone just a little and it's "By the way in case X doesn't happen, Y."

(I could try typing out what I mean, but obviously that would be pointless because..tone of voice.)

I am excited that I get off for MLK and President's Day AND am taking another three-day weekend myself!

I was feeling like I've been at work a lot recently, when I remembered that at this time last year, I had had several sick days AND several snow days already. So I guess it's good that I've been able to come to work? Maybe.

Yeah, I'ma go with "unclear" and "possibly clearer when tone of voice/phrasing/emphasis is available"

I am completely braindead this morning, and it's 11AM and I have accomplished no work. And since I was traveling yesterday and Monday, and am out again tomorrow and Friday AND next Monday/Tuesday, I have a CRAPTON of work to do. Things with real deadlines. And I just...can't...