I'd vote for post-baby shower, where you aren't so time constrained assuming you'll be taking time off work anyway. And maybe drive in easy stages? But sooner than June to appease Mom.

brenda, we were just there for Thanksgiving, and we'll see my parents again at Christmas; they're coming down to Oklahoma City to spend the holiday with us and M's family.

Airplane travel is annoying enough when you're not large and constantly needing a bathroom.

Yeah, and I have flown a lot lately! To LA to see my brother in October; to Philly for my cousin's wedding in November; to MA for Thanksgiving; and then in a few weeks, to OKC. And it is much more tiring than before I got pregnant.

Yes - I think a post-baby shower, in better traveling weather is a better decision.

Maybe suggest it as a "meet the baby!" party in June? Everyone will want to come for that, and your mom can still plan a party.

I know it's hard, but my suggestion would be to let her know that it's a lovely idea, but that flying at that stage is going to be stressful and eat up time you could be relaxing and SLEEPING before the baby comes. Maybe invite her to come down in February instead, too?

Yes, post-baby. And everyone will be thrilled to coo at/hold baby.

But sooner than June to appease Mom.

Well, the reason to go in June is that another cousin is getting married in VT at the end of June. So we're already planning a trip to New England then, and hoping to stretch it into a couple of weeks, since I'll be off work anyway. The baby is due in mid-April, and I really don't see us making two long trips so soon after s/he is born. My parents and M's parents are all planning to come visit when the baby comes, so June will not be the first time that my parents will see the baby.

June. Because you know she wants to do this lovely thing. But you're not comfortable traveling at that point in your pregnancy.

sumi, 'tis the season.

Our local flap is about a seasonal display on the grounds of a courthouse. They have a deal where there can be 10 displays - people send in their request to have a display and the first 10 get a place. Only one person, whose proposal was to have a display against the commercialism of the season, took a plastic skeleton, dressed it as Santa, then hung it on a cross. A local TV station was filming on-site and, while they were filming, a woman who objected to the display came by and dismantled it. She carefully took it apart and put the bits and pieces on the ground. When they asked her - in mid-dismantling - she said it was offensive and didn't they find it offensive.

I would also try to negotiate for the post-baby shower. As for being uncomfortable with the gifts, you can try and come up with something like we did: When people asked, we told them we'd love to receive books they'd loved as a child and to hear their memories of them.

OK, I guess I will suggest a "meet the baby!" party for June instead. I dread making that phone call, but it does seem like a better plan. Thanks for the input, y'all.