Yes, post-baby. And everyone will be thrilled to coo at/hold baby.

But sooner than June to appease Mom.

Well, the reason to go in June is that another cousin is getting married in VT at the end of June. So we're already planning a trip to New England then, and hoping to stretch it into a couple of weeks, since I'll be off work anyway. The baby is due in mid-April, and I really don't see us making two long trips so soon after s/he is born. My parents and M's parents are all planning to come visit when the baby comes, so June will not be the first time that my parents will see the baby.

June. Because you know she wants to do this lovely thing. But you're not comfortable traveling at that point in your pregnancy.

sumi, 'tis the season.

Our local flap is about a seasonal display on the grounds of a courthouse. They have a deal where there can be 10 displays - people send in their request to have a display and the first 10 get a place. Only one person, whose proposal was to have a display against the commercialism of the season, took a plastic skeleton, dressed it as Santa, then hung it on a cross. A local TV station was filming on-site and, while they were filming, a woman who objected to the display came by and dismantled it. She carefully took it apart and put the bits and pieces on the ground. When they asked her - in mid-dismantling - she said it was offensive and didn't they find it offensive.

I would also try to negotiate for the post-baby shower. As for being uncomfortable with the gifts, you can try and come up with something like we did: When people asked, we told them we'd love to receive books they'd loved as a child and to hear their memories of them.

OK, I guess I will suggest a "meet the baby!" party for June instead. I dread making that phone call, but it does seem like a better plan. Thanks for the input, y'all.

I would totally rather go to a "meet the baby!" party!! That sounds adorable!

I'm sure she means well, but I get annoyed by people who want to do things for someone, but on their terms. January seems both too close to the holidays and too close to motherhood. Also, you'd make a whole planeful of people try to remember first aid and whether boiling water is really necessary.

Sparky, that's a great idea! I definitely want people to feel they don't have to get us anything big (or anything at all), but just about everyone we know would love to buy us a book, I'm sure.

Kate, you can always mention that you want to stay close to your doctor as the pregnancy progresses - it's your first and I'd imagine you'd be nervous. By June you should have gotten over the first phase of being tired and hormonal; and June may be better for traveling - very little chance of snow delays.