That's so pretty, lisah!

Kate, your pictures are awesome. Everyone looks so happy.

My bridesmaid dresses were poufy-sleeved, vee-necked monstrosities from the early '90s, one in teal, one in ... essentially grandma's wallpaper on pale blue. Horrible. The other outfit was black trousers and a long black vest sort of thing, which was not bad, but never fit me quite right.

Best twitter account EVAR: @English50Cent, a translation service for English-speaking 50 Cent fans.

50cent: Busta still has the best show in hip-hop I'm not shiting on him. And I aint dissing serena either I said i gotta workout! yal be buggin

English50Cent: I am sincere in praising Busta Rhymes' live abilities and Serena Williams' sexually intimidating strength. You resemble insects.

Lessee, I have worn: a full-length green iridescent taffeta pouf-short sleeved bow-on-butt dress. With control top panty hose. In August. In Missouri. Rented.

A forest green lace overlaying a green slip, knee-length dress from Newport News. October. Cave wedding. Fine and comfortable, donated to H.S. theatre department for costumes.

Dark, slightly iridescent blue taffeta knee length vintage cocktail dress. Early 60's full knee length. July wedding, St Louis sculpture garden. Hot, but fun wedding. Mid 90's. All attendants wore great blue vintage dresses, not the same, except for groom's sis, who wore some white, flowery Wal-Mart lookin' thang. (Chica, how hard is medium blue, 50-60's dress to find? REALLY.) Looked great, would have worn again, except Jo had an open bar, and I got so drunk to tore the dress wrestling out of it later that night. Kept it for years, anyway.

The two wedding with nice dresses I walked down the aisle stoned (as did most the wedding party.) Fun weddings.

The green taffeta monstrosity wedding ended with the bride deciding she was a lesbian, divorcing, buying a house with another gal, then getting knocked up by a biker, breaking up with the gal AND the biker, and moving alone to open up a gourmet food shop in small town Kansas, with her baby.

I have told my two attendants to buy something pretty and casual-cocktaily in the purple/pink/silver family that they will want to wear again many times.

Best twitter account EVAR: @English50Cent, a translation service for English-speaking 50 Cent fans.

That is AWESOME.

I had simple, A-line bridesmaid dresses with spaghetti straps and bolero jackets, in cream and pale peach. I had hoped they'd be wearable to cocktail parties and such but I doubt that happened.

At least they didn't resemble the meringue that was me.

My best friend's bridesmaids dresses were purple velvet bodices and purple satin skirts. Looks great in context, but what can you do with it after?

The cousin I stood up for had her bridesmaids in butter and light green. I was, apparently, too high yella for butter, so I have a light green Vera Wang two piece--ballgown skirt and spaghetti strap top. Very pretty, but light green?

Kanye needs some sort of translation service also.

(Chica, how hard is medium blue, 50-60's dress to find? REALLY.)

I wouldn't even know where to start looking for such a thing. Really.

Which is, I suppose, why I have Buffistas.

I wouldn't even know where to start looking for such a thing. Really.

Ebay!

Also, Buffistas.

You know, I read somewhere to check out 50 cent's twitter feed. So I looked at it a few days ago, and it seemed normal crazy. Lots of disconnected thoughts about money, food, women, rivalries, whatever. And then I looked at the timestamps, and realized he had sent all those tweets over a period of like two hours. That guy is MORE THAN NORMAL crazy.

Speaking of awesome tweets:

FakeAPStylebook The correct plural of ocelot is oceshitload. Ocefuckton is vulgar and should be avoided.