Do you want to be the messiah? Here is the qualification:

1) You don't necessarily have to have Jewish blood in you, but you must be friendly to the Jews because it is stated in the old testament that the messiah will rise out of the house of David (house of Israel). Many people think that passage means messiah must be a Hebrew. Not true. You could be white, black or Asian. But you must be a pro-Jewish.

2) You must receive the right guidance from a prophet. The Talmud declared that the prophet of the messiah is the one who will bring immortality to mankind. Without receiving guidance from this prophet, you cannot be the messiah. You cannot give guidance to yourself either. You cannot just find anyone who you think is the prophet and tell him to give you guidance.

3) You cannot die before the entire world is united and harmonized. If you die before your mission is accomplished, you are definitely not the messiah.

4) You will unite the entire world. Your empire will never be destroyed. If you cannot do this, you are not the messiah.

Congratulations, Kathy!

Wait. Can the messiah be a woman? How do I know who the right prophet is? We need more answers!

Congratulations, Kathy!

Thanks!!

I know I got accepted to school because I have tons of forms to fill out to bring with me to registration next week. At least this registration is better organized than Marquette's was back in the '80s.

If you die before your mission is accomplished, you are definitely not the messiah.

It's nice when the guidelines are straightforward.

Wait. Can the messiah be a woman? How do I know who the right prophet is? We need more answers!

Well, Zenkitty, here are some more answers.

Messiah shall be given guidance by the prophet. Then he shall unite the world. Bringing immortality to mankind is not messiah's job. ( It's my job, and I have already done it. )

If you are a multi-billionaire, your chance of becoming the messiah is even greater. If you are that wealthy, you have the power to advertise the world-corporation plan to the entire world. Everyone will know that you are the one who helped unite the world. People will most likely vote for you!

If you think this is the job for you, who knows? Messiah could be you. Remember, messiah is the most holy. He has been chosen out of millions among millions. He is the one who carries great righteousness and the glory of God. He is the one who will sit on the throne forever and ever. He will prosper the entire world until there is no more problem left to solve.

Hmmm, perhaps the messiah cannot be a woman! But anyway, just go here:

I am looking for the messiah.

In order to prove that you are the messiah, name 3 mistakes on this world corporation plan. Then Email me those mistakes to webmaster@alexchiu.com If you have correctly named these 3 mistakes, you are the messiah promised in the bible.

It's that easy!

for people who recently moved cross country, would you mind emailing me costs for just the move and whether you used movers or rented a truck yourself. I am working on making a budget. rlb14 at columbia dot edu

thanks

Hmmm, perhaps the messiah cannot be a woman!

That's the problem with using 'he', is it the gender neutral form or not? The ambiguity is pretty annoying, just ask the Witch-King.

Wait, he's *already* made us immortal? Well, that was all I wanted. Screw being the messiah. Too much work, with the world-uniting and the righteousness.

Wait, he's *already* made us immortal?

Well, if you buy his immortality rings and take his Gorgeouspil.