Job~ma for PMM's DH and for Epic, too. And continued ~ma for billytea (plus coming safely~ma for babytea).

I just went for a walk with the Alpine walking sticks. Probably not very helpful to keep up a steady stream of body-hate while doing so. But I still don't know how to shut it off. I read the Fat Acceptance stuff... and it's not taking. I don't know how to force myself to accept it any better than I know how to force diet and exercise to actually make me skinny.

ma~~~ billytea.

WindSparrow -- I'm not sure that acceptance is the place to start. It takes baby steps to get there.

I had a bunch written here that talked about me, but I think it might not help. Basically , find something small to hang onto. I've got three or four things that work at different times. I still have bad days -- but they get less and less in the way of taking care of my self.

It breaks my heart that some of the most beautiful women I know don't ever get to feel as beautiful as they truly are.

And yes, Windsparrow, you're one of them.

I know it's still the same old bleat from me.

Y'know what's good? Looking at pictures of kittens. That always helps.

{{{beth}}} {{{java}}}

Probably not very helpful to keep up a steady stream of body-hate while doing so. But I still don't know how to shut it off.

Aw, honey-- you know, like beth said, it's baby steps. Maybe one of those baby steps can be that knowing that the people who know you and love you want you to be healthy-- whatever form it takes.

{{{Andi}}}

I am proud of myself. I have had a stressful two days.

Dad's out of the hosptial but there was a whole thing where I heard that he really did have a heart attack, then no, he didn't and I guess the doctors are split. And he was going to stay over night and then no they were going to release him.

Plus there was some problems with a doctor's referal that took numerous phone calls. And I was tired. And I get home, and oh. Internet problems.

Oh and my period started.

The internet problems are temporarily solved.

But I'm proud of myself because I only got a bit teary once. I didn't berate myself or get down on myself.

I'm going to say that part of it is giving myself a 3 day weekend. But also I'm going to say part of it is the Strettera. Because not only am I not forgetting things but I'm noticing other changes. Like I've been able to organize some stuff on my computer, where before I was going in circles and today at work I figured otu what I needed to do. Also I've noticed I'm not seeking extra stimulation all the time, either from sneaking in computer games at work because there's nothing to do and I can't handle the nothing or having a million tabs open and doing a million different things.

(((Andi)))

Probably not very helpful to keep up a steady stream of body-hate while doing so. But I still don't know how to shut it off.

Yeah. But maybe the third time you do it, or the sixth, the voices will shut off? Or not really shut off, but be drowned out by the 'I made a plan to do this and I did it', 'and then I kept on doing it' voice.

{{{Askye}}} I'm sorry you are having such a rough week. It is stressful when the parents have health problems, especially when they are undefined. But it is good to hear that the Strattera is helping you.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

Say, erin_o, any word on your feline?