No, depression made me gain weight; happiness was supposed to help me lose weight and get in shape a little bit so that I can finally have a baby dammit.

Can you not conceive without losing weight? Don't get me started about how weight gain and loss are not end all be all indicators of health, wellness, and happiness...

Sorry to be all ranty, but I feel like I keep trying hard to improve myself, and it has been about as effective as banging my head against a wall.

Losing weight is increasingly difficult when medications are involved or as the body ages and changes. I recommend focusing on the healthy behaviors that make you feel good (exercise, yoga, meditation, eating fruits & veggies, drinking water, taking vitamins) and maybe not so much on the numbers on the scale.

Trudy, I'm with you, I'm just not interested in analyzing every potential move MJ did for signs of pedophilia, and which type of person is most likely to do what, and where did all the damaged kids go and who got bought off or what. But god help anybody who wants to do anything good for kids these days, because they'd better be walking around in a hazmat suit and talking to kids through a publically-monitored electronic channel from a couple of miles away.

You don't pay $25 million to get rid of a nuisance suit.

I think that in some instances, people do. Especially in instances of cases that involve crimes/actions that are particularly heinous. In the interview he did with Lisa Marie and Diane Sawyer he said that his attorneys told him, "We can't guarantee that you will be acquitted. Pay them and it goes away." That sounds very plausible to me. And it's easy to make stories sound consistent both when it has happened and when adults are coaching kids. I look at the cases in the 80's where so many people were arrested and jailed and their lives ruined because of false accusations and state-based witch hunts for pedophiles and child molesters.

I look at the cases in the 80's where so many people were arrested and jailed and their lives ruined because of false accusations and state-based witch hunts for pedophiles and child molesters.

Wrod. Witness the "Satanists are killing our babies!" hysteria that pops up every now and then, and the FBI has done multiple studies to show it never happened.

I think it's possible that he molested children, but since it's never been proven, I wouldn't say he did beyond a reasonable doubt. Weird behavior? Sure. Would I let my kid spend the night at his home? Hell no. But I sure don't feel comfortable saying he was a molester. When a family takes money rather than taking it to court (and possibly saving other children if the person is a molester), you have to wonder a bit about their intentions.

A former co-worker of mine (Sue) had a daughter with leukemia who met Michael Jackson and it was a highlight of her (and my co-worker's) life. Sue had nothing but nice things to say about her experience with him. They were affiliated with the March of Dimes and MJ met with tons of terminally ill kids of multiple ages and both sexes. I think in many cases his heart was in the right place with regard to children. (Sue's daughter died at 13, BTW. So sad.)

Not weighing in on MJ, I don't know enough about it.

I look at the cases in the 80's where so many people

Wasn't the 80's the time of the recovered memories stuff?

Memory is so interesting. I know that it has been shown time and time again that human memory is very unreliable. It makes me wonder how many things in my life I remember might not have really happened or unfolded differently that I remember them doing.

Okay one last excerpt from the book because (a) it notes a separate payment and (b) it addresses why more did not come to light:

By April 1996, even more money would be paid out to silence the allegations of another young boy who had spent time with Michael Jackson. Jackson's former maid, Blanca Francia and her son, Jason, would receive $2.1 million. It was a payout that was kept under the public radar for years.

Law enforcement officials confirmed that Jason had given the Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department and audiotaped statement in early 1994 that alleged Jackson had fondled the boy -- over his clothes. Blanca could have pursued criminal charges if she wanted. She knew, having worked for Michael Jackson for so many years, that taking her former boss to court and having her child testify against him would turn their lives upside down. It was easier for all concerned to take the money and not look back.

I think it's possible that he molested children, but since it's never been proven, I wouldn't say he did beyond a reasonable doubt. Weird behavior? Sure. Would I let my kid spend the night at his home? Hell no. But I sure don't feel comfortable saying he was a molester.

Yeah, this is where I am, too. We don't know enough to say for sure that he ever molested any child. But his behavior around children was weird and inappropriate enough that I would not have let any child that I had say over spend time alone with him.

I'll also note that none of MJ's accusors had recovered memories. They were all still children, not people recalling it later by the discredited therapeutic method of guided imagery (which actually creates false memories).

It makes me wonder how many things in my life I remember might not have really happened or unfolded differently that I remember them doing.

Yeah, a friend of mine and I were talking about this once. She was talking about a dinner we had gone to, and I had no recollection of it. But then I went and found an old diary post, and sure enough, there it was. But even though I knew it happened and I was there, I couldn't really remember it. So she wondered whether that really counted.