You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery.

Mal ,'Our Mrs. Reynolds'


Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Sean K - Jun 26, 2009 10:11:08 am PDT #14184 of 30000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

Was his life as a child significantly different than other child stars?

Don't know. Though this does make me wonder what ways his life could have been different. Imagine a Michael who comes out honestly about his childhood, and makes child abuse a huge cause of his. I think he could have easily had the power to shine a light on it.


Trudy Booth - Jun 26, 2009 10:13:48 am PDT #14185 of 30000
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart

Not all people who try to re-create a childhood that they never experienced are pedophiles. I'd wager the vast majority are not.

Yeah, if we're going to judge adults on vast comic collections, video games, desire for odd pets, and the willingness to put rollercoasters in their yards... well...

Problem is, Sean, as uniquely fucked up and insulated as MJ's life was, he still has a moral obligation to examine his actions and know their consequences. I expect this of every mentally competent adult. To put it in Sartrean terms, his failing is that he lied to himself. That he chose to believe the lies that were perpetuated around him. Because of that he had no check on reality. That he could believe that his lack of boundaries (at the very least) was not damaging to other children.

So even apart from abuse the question of abuse he was damaging children?


DavidS - Jun 26, 2009 10:14:44 am PDT #14186 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Not all people who try to re-create a childhood that they never experienced are pedophiles.

Of course not. But you can't say "he's not a pedophile, he's really an arrested 10 y.o. because he's trying to recreate his childhood" since the person emotionally arrested at age 10 and the pedophile have that trait in common.


Hil R. - Jun 26, 2009 10:16:02 am PDT #14187 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

Imagine a Michael who comes out honestly about his childhood, and makes child abuse a huge cause of his. I think he could have easily had the power to shine a light on it.

Donny Bonaduce seemed to be briefly heading in that direction, then backed off.


DavidS - Jun 26, 2009 10:16:20 am PDT #14188 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

So even apart from abuse the question of abuse he was damaging children?

I think so. As I noted above, he did expose himself to younger children and he did sleep and cuddle with kids that weren't his children at his place. Those are damaging breaches of boundaries.


Steph L. - Jun 26, 2009 10:17:19 am PDT #14189 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

But you can't say "he's not a pedophile, he's really an arrested 10 y.o. because he's trying to recreate his childhood" since the person emotionally arrested at age 10 and the pedophile have that trait in common.

I'm not sure what you're saying here. Because they have that trait in common, you can't say that the person is NOT a pedophile?

Being emotionally arrested is not what makes someone a pedophile. Sexually abusing children *is.*


P.M. Marc - Jun 26, 2009 10:18:12 am PDT #14190 of 30000
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear

I think the degree of abuse was more severe, possibly started earlier, and he never cut ties or broke away from it. I also think there was untreated mental illness that in later days was compounded by substance abuse.

I expect this of every mentally competent adult.

So do I. But I don't think from the available evidence that Jackson was, in point of fact, a mentally competent adult.

I painted my nails last night but was too lazy to apply a top coat, and now they look all smoodgy. Bleh.

Always have a quick dry top coat on hand! Always!


brenda m - Jun 26, 2009 10:18:29 am PDT #14191 of 30000
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there

That he could believe that his lack of boundaries (at the very least) was not damaging to other children.

This is my thing. I can buy the "regressed 10-yr-old" argument, and in a lot of ways it rings true. But even if you posited no out-and-out sexual molestation, there is no question he made a habit of behaving in wildly inappropriate ways around vulnerable children who were damaged by it. No question.


Trudy Booth - Jun 26, 2009 10:18:37 am PDT #14192 of 30000
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart

Of course not. But you can't say "he's not a pedophile, he's really an arrested 10 y.o. because he's trying to recreate his childhood" since the person emotionally arrested at age 10 and the pedophile have that trait in common.

I'm not saying that, the actual Psychologist who actually examined him and his accuser for the City of Los Angeles is saying that after extensive study and analysis. You can't dismiss his assessment with "Yeah, but pedophiles do that too."


Sean K - Jun 26, 2009 10:19:15 am PDT #14193 of 30000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

Problem is, Sean, as uniquely fucked up and insulated as MJ's life was, he still has a moral obligation to examine his actions and know their consequences.

I agree. I agree completely. I'm think I'm just considering the possibility that his life was, in some ways, more comparable to Caligula's or Nero's, and look how they turned out.

I expect this of every mentally competent adult.

I'm not convinced he was mentally competent. As Barb notes, there does seem to be some indicators of dissociation.