How do you handle your partner's family when
Set weapons on Ignore?
I mean, I know plenty of people who avoid their families-in-law for much less unpleasantness. Do you really want to have dinner with them?
We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm the hero!
Wash ,'Jaynestown'
Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Volans - Jun 12, 2009 2:36:42 am PDT #12676 of 30000
move out and draw fire
Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Jun 12, 2009 2:42:31 am PDT #12677 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
Do you really want to have dinner with them?
In all my time going out with, and then being engaged to their daughter, I've met them exactly once. We have to get to know each other a little better than that, if they're going to stop abusing me to their daughter behind my back (or at least if we're going to persuade them to come to the wedding, which they're not planning to at the moment, which has upset my Girl terribly). I'd love to ignore them, but this is an Israeli family. This is a culture based around the family, and my Girl is *completely* devoted to her parents and siblings and sees/talks to them all the time. I don't want to upset her by getting in the way of that.
IBN: Sims 3 is much fun and a great way to waste a day off.
Sparky1 - Jun 12, 2009 3:02:43 am PDT #12678 of 30000
Librarian Warlord
Seska, I think it's your Girl who has to set the behavior boundaries with her family, not you. She has to tell them she's not listening when they abuse you, she has to say she's not attending family events without the family she's made, etc. It's going to be really hard on her, and she's going to have to tell them about eleventyhundred times, but she's the one who is situated to do so, not you.
Raq, are your menfolk feeling better?
We have a trip to the pediatrician today for a weigh-in (K has not gotten back to birth weight, yet) and then we are headed to Richmond . . . with all the beach traffic, ugh.
Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Jun 12, 2009 3:17:41 am PDT #12679 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
I think it's your Girl who has to set the behavior boundaries with her family, not you.
We're working on it, and she's being a star. It's just stressfully slow. Hence the ranting.
I sent my father the first season of BSG for his birthday. I hope he likes it. He likes Star Trek, Blakes 7, Doctor Who. I think he'll like BSG, but it'll be an interesting experiment.
WindSparrow - Jun 12, 2009 3:29:06 am PDT #12680 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Seska, I think Sparky is right. Aside from that, all I've got is this: {{{{{{{{Seska&Girl}}}}}}
Sparky, have fun with the driving. How is K, other than needing to gain some ounces?
Barb - Jun 12, 2009 3:42:36 am PDT #12681 of 30000
“Not dead yet!”
Seska, I think Sparky is right. Aside from that, all I've got is this: {{{{{{{{Seska&Girl}}}}}}
This. And lots of patience ~ma to you both.
Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Jun 12, 2009 4:48:59 am PDT #12682 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
Cheers for the ~ma etc - much appreciated! I am off to indulge in some retail therapy. I need to buy a few nice things for the new flat (and replace all the glasses I broke this week). And then friend and I are going to see the Terminator movie. Much fun.
omnis_audis - Jun 12, 2009 6:55:46 am PDT #12683 of 30000
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir
bc, you give up too easy. if wardrobe is locked, just get a sm! they has keys!Yes, probably so. Too lazy to walk around and see who is and isn't where. Plus, folks are spread out around 3 buildings. One is a long walk down a steep hill (not doing that in the rain), the other is 20 min drive (or that in the rain). SM is off contract and out of the building. Jeff has the key, I'm guessing, but he was in/out of meetings all day. He leaves for a much needed vacation tomorrow, so he's a bit scatterbrained right now.
Steph L. - Jun 12, 2009 6:59:27 am PDT #12684 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Seska, I think it's your Girl who has to set the behavior boundaries with her family, not you. She has to tell them she's not listening when they abuse you, she has to say she's not attending family events without the family she's made, etc. It's going to be really hard on her, and she's going to have to tell them about eleventyhundred times, but she's the one who is situated to do so, not you.
This. It's a lousy, lousy situation, but if her family is already unfavorably disposed towards you, there's nothing else *you* can to do make them want to get to know you. It's crappy, and I hate it for both of you -- for *all* of you, really, including her family, because it's a huge loss for them to not get to know you.
Pix - Jun 12, 2009 7:22:43 am PDT #12685 of 30000
The status is NOT quo.
Seska, I'm so sorry. That's an awful position for you to be in, though I agree with everyone else that there's probably nothing else you can do beyond provide moral support for your girl. We all have to deal with our own families, in the end, even when they do accept our partners. I hope for both of you that they come to their senses, though. Many hugs.
In petty meme news, I had the most horrible night of anxiety dreams/nightmares I have had in a long time. I don't pick up my new nightguard until next week, and apparently I was clenching my teeth so hard that I've given myself a killer head/jaw ache. Oh, and I woke up convinced that Drew doesn't really love me and the wedding was off and I left a class completely alone while they were taking a test because I found this all out in the middle of the school day. @@ Seriously, brain??