Man, Omnis, that is rough.
waves
So, it's half three in the morning in Britain. I fell asleep around 5pm, so I'm wide awake now. It's about 9am in Bangkok, so I reckon that's okay - I don't mind staying on Bangkok time, since I'll be back in a few days.
So - lovely to be back with the family. Yesterday my parents' house guests were still here - I arrived in the UK Saturday lunchtime, and weesisterJay & her lovely boyfriend of 2 years (whom I've never met) picked me up at Manchester airport. That evening everyone went out to the Rotary Presidential Evening do, but I stayed home, had a bath and then flaked out, after 23 hours of travel on top of a full day at work (and 4 hours stuck in traffic in the monsoon, trying to get the cat to the cattery and then get to the airport, and VERY VERY VERY nearly missing my plane).
Yesterday was the farewell dinner thing - every year my father's Rotary Club either hosts the Rotary Club from Neede, in Holland, or else they visit them; this year the Dutch were visiting us. My parents have been hosting the same couple (or visiting them) for about 20 years, so even though my grandmother died just before they arrived, my mum didn't want to disrupt the 'Dutch Weekend'. Plus, it's been a blessed distraction for her. Anyway, yes - the funeral's on Tuesday, but in the meanwhile they've been doing all this social fun stuff with old friends.
Anyway - yesterday, beautiful sunny day, farewell luncheon being hosted at this gorgeous house in the country with a stunning garden. Much chatter and leisurely consumption of food and drink. And this Dutch bloke, who introduces himself as "Kissy Tony", sits down at the table where weeSisterJay and I are sitting with one of the British Rotarians, while other people drift around, and he's all fucking Spanish Inquisition tastic. Has his hand on the (female) Rotarian's knee so she has to tell him to remove it, and is then quizzing my sister on her relationship with her boyfriend (who's in attendance at the event, but is busy watching the Grand Prix with various other folks at this point), and asks me if I'm dating. Which, frankly, who the fuck are you and what business is it of yours? But being British, of course I don't say that.
"No," I say.
"And have you ever dated?" he says.
"Not in Bangkok," I say politely.
"But she - your sister is living with her boyfriend," he says.
"No I'm not," says my sister.
"Er - no, they live in different countries," I say.
"Yes," says weeSister.
"Ah, but you're together every weekend!" Dutchguy informs my sister, inaccurately. "And you're sleeping together, right?" We both just stare at him. "I mean, you're both in the same bed now, in your parents' house?"
"Yes, Heidi," I say, turning to stare at my sister, somewhat bug-eyed. "Do tell us all about your sex life. Actually, let's get everyone over here to hear all the juicy details of what you get up to in bed."
"We have bunk beds," she says, rolling her eyes. "We're just penpals. This is the first time we've ever met."
"Ho ho. But you've never lived with someone?" he asks me. "I mean, in a straight relationship?" I blink.
"Actually, this is the first time I've ever lived on my own," I say. "But, no, I've never lived with someone I was in a relationship with." At which point the other woman at the table manages to wave my mother over and forces her to talk to Obnoxious Guy and distract him from us.
Seriously? I mean...SERIOUSLY? Social skills?
I really wish that I had given him a blunt and crushing put-down, but there you are - all three of us were sitting there crippled by this whole Anglo Saxon politeness thing, where you might find yourself taking the piss and getting sarcastic, but actually saying "Sorry, I realise that you are old and ugly and that talking about our sex lives may be interesting to you, but all three of us are frankly disgusted by your lack of courtesy. Kindly fuck off and die" simply isn't thinkable at the time.