Romantic love=addiction, to my mind.

Oh, this is SO true. This is what has done in every. single. one. of my mother's relationships. She loves being in love. She loves the early giddy days of being in love when everything is sunshine and roses and lollipops and quite possibly pastel unicorns. Once real life sets in, however, that's when it's no longer fun and when she gets disillusioned.

And it's such a weird construct with her-- in the early days, she's content to play at being a traditional woman, subservient, everything in her life revolves around making the man happy. But soon enough, her true, independent nature reasserts itself and her behavior changes right along with it. That's when she wants to be the boss in the relationship and the poor schmucks are left standing there, wondering what the hell happened to their 5PM cocktails and breakfast in bed.

It was a hell of a sociology master class to grow up in.

For every wedding I officiate, I offer a paragraph from Corelli's Mandolin about how love is what is left over when lust and romance burn away.

Huh. That sounds just like a line from the pilot of the new Cupid. It may have been in the original too.

Meanwhile, I'm heading out to see Star Trek by myself, because my DH won't go and my two work husbands are unavailable.

Is this a thing elsewhere, or just at my work? You end up with a best friend at work who you usually lunch with, etc? We call them "work wives" even when they are guys.

I don't think you should marry anyone unless you can enjoy doing things with them like scrubbing the bathtub while they are in the other room struggling to get the trash bag out of the can. Finding someone with whom it is fun to share the mundane is rare and to be treasured.

This. Romantic love is great fun, and it rushes back with breathtaking results now and again in a good longterm relationship, but this is what really matters. Best friends with benefits.

I'm definitely NOT looking for giggly "in love" stuff.

So much this. I hear my best friend's "cute voice" with her boyfriend and I get sick. If I'll ever sound like this, please point a gun to my head. Now, I might have never been in a romantic relationship, but I never used that voice with my ex-soulmate (who was the closest thing to a pure relationship. The final year of that, we were disappointed if we couldn't complete each other's sentences and read each other in a second).

For me, using cute voice means "I want something from you which I know you probably don't wanna do/give, but I'll try to be cute to get my way". In my book, that's manipulation. If you want something, ask it like the adult you are. I didn't sign up for a close relationship with a 4 year old.

Am I wrong?

ION, Nilly and ice cream tomorrow.

Sometimes "cute voice" just means, this is our own world that we created and only we are in. However, since it can mean that, doing itt in front of others is kinda rude, I think.

You end up with a best friend at work who you usually lunch with, etc? We call them "work wives" even when they are guys.

Hee. I don't think it's just your work. Although I don't usually go out to lunch because I'm cheap.

ION, Nilly and ice cream tomorrow.

Lucky!

Sometimes "cute voice" just means, this is our own world that we created and only we are in.

I distinguish between "cute!voice" and "excitedtobewithyou!voice". It's the difference between sharing and taking something.

Lucky!

Tru that.

I really, really didn't mind being single, except on the occasions when it was something that marked me as Clearly Different (like being somewhere with all couples, and me as odd man out). I was good at it. I've always been my own best company.

But being in the right relationship? Nothing and no one else has ever made my soul feel calm. Ever, in 37 years.

None of my (very few) previous relationships were like this.

It was an accident, it was sheer luck, and it was all timing.

All of which sucks rocks to hear when you're the one who's single. Because how the hell are you supposed to know when your timing is right?

Is this a thing elsewhere, or just at my work? You end up with a best friend at work who you usually lunch with, etc? We call them "work wives" even when they are guys.

Def not just your work -- I dislike the work-spouse term, but the relationship is totally familiar.