Yikes, Laga. I hope al of our CA peeps are safe.

Hil, Pain-ma.

I'm so tired. mearaing, part 1:

I keep eating cookies. I'm feeling slightly panicky already. I know that sugar and chocolate both increase my anxiety. Still eating cookies.

I find nothing's wrong with your logic. Maybe I iz dum 2. And no-pain~ma. You guys, with the pains and the insomnia - it's so unfair. I get the helplessness factor, and I wish I could do something to make it better.

Raq, job~ma.

pouring with rain here

Wanna switch? It's a 100+ heatwave in here. Even wore a skirt to uni. And amazed at other girls' definition to "skirt"/"clothes". This is university, for the love of God. With religious people attending it. But nonetheless, the fact that it's university, for itself, means you pay some respect to the institute. This isn't a public beach.

And now:

Yay omnis and sleeping!
Congrats, Aims!
And last but not lease, happy belated birthday, Vortex!

TBC soon.

mearaing, part 2:

Sean, let me stress the "you're not alone part". And underline it. Perhaps mark it with a marker, YMMV.

But I'm stressing hard about money, and feeling blue and lonely the last few days.

This too is me, more times than I want it to be. My problem (or actually, the people in my life's problem) is that I don't let anyone to come near me at times like this. I prefer to go through the dark and angst alone, I don't want my friends and family in the line of fire (and I wish they'll learn to back off by now. I just need few hours by myself from time to time).

As for dating, yeah, I agree parties and socializing, in general, is the key. As someone who's currently laughing at the face of the idea of a relationship (I may have said it before, but the guy who wants me will have to run faster than me. Because when being offered, I tend to run away, fast). And lately, with the very slow process of "guess what, honey? Relationships can be good, too", I grow by the idea of dating. Hey, there's a way to regulate sex with not-really-seeing-the-other-person-much and make sure it won't be abusive towards anyone, I'll take it. I blame my life for not letting me see one couple with good relationship (= one I wanted to myself) until, let's say, 4 months ago. I just didn't, and a big part of me still don't, believe in love. I honestly thought it was all a lie, a deception, something people are telling themselves to feel less alone in this world.

And then - shh, don't tell anyone! - came "Amends", and I thought to myself "hey. If these two are fighting so hard for a relationship, when the whole universe is against them, maybe it's worth a go. Even if it's all a deception".

Agh, I'm sorry. I meant to start this as a support message, and it became a meme.

Anyway, Sean - not alone, hon. I wish that thought suffices to take comfort in. And judging by your pixels, you're worthy.

Cereal (none of you awake yet, lazy Americans?):

Second time in a row I get my instructor's instructions wrong. Not terribly bright on my behalf.

I think it's because she smiles, a lot. Ending every sentence with a smile-wise.

It gets me quite alarmed.

And I think I left a note on her desk, and I don't wanna go back there. I don't need that note anymore, but I think it would be bad manners not to come back and take it.

When tired, life can be fuzzy, confusing, and making one to feel somewhat stupid. I'm soon gonna fix that with coffee, and take comfort that at least one of my instructors thinks I'm bloody brilliant.

at least one of my instructors thinks I'm bloody brilliant.

At least one of Shir's professors is not totally clueless. That's a good thing.

Job~ma for Raq.

The Animaniacs are definitely better for the brain than Elsie.

bonny, I'm glad the no gluten thing has helped so much. I hope this reaction tames down and goes away soon.

Hil, I know vicodin did not make the pain of my wisdom tooth extraction go away so much as make it a lot more fun. But when I took ibuprofen in combination with the vicodin, the cocktail really did eliminate the pain. So talking to your doctor about the level of relief you are getting may lead to a safe combination to make things even better.

Coming in late to wish Vortex a happy birthday.

And Sean, I'm sorry you're in a bad place right now. I go through that periodically - I recently turned 57 and the only serious relationship I've ever had ended badly. I'm not good at making friends and I've never been especially attractive to men, so I spend most of my time alone. I'm used to it and am fairly content with it most of the time, but sometimes it gets to me. My job's not going very well and it's frustrating ... and sometimes it's scary because if I lose this job I don't know if I'd be able to find another, considering my age and the economy.

So ... even though I'm down right now I'm going to keep plugging away and hope things improve - even if the circumstances don't improve, I can hope that my attitude does.

Belated Happy Birthday, Vortex!

Happy belated birthday, Vortex! Enjoy your "birthday week."

Congrats to Aims the grad! Woot!

I guess I just feel like I've gotten to a point in my life where most things I do feel a little hollow without somebody there to share it with.

I hear you, Seanie. At this point its just getting fucking old. They've been telling me since I was fifteen that I don't need a boyfriend to be happy and I should just be me... and I guess I believe that. But I'm tired of it.

Yeah, I'm 44 and have never had a serious relationship. Lately I've been sorta' flipping back and forth between feeling like it'd be OK if I stay single the rest of my life, and feeling like I'm really missing out by not being in a relationship.