But - and this is key - this is not a test. You don't always get the best thing ever, and then sometimes you do, and sometime you get competely random shit you didn't even know existed. And that's good! That's part of the fun.

And on the giving side - I don't always have the time, or energy, or inspiration to get that best ever thing either, but it's so amazing when you do. And if you don't, chances are unless you're completely out there (bubble wrap?) you done pretty good anyway.

What Brenda said.

(bubble wrap?)

I didn't even tell you about the time she asked for him to look out for local handspun yarns when he was going on a business trip and wrote on the list, "NO EARTH TONES". And he came back with beautiful yarns in natural, wheat and grey. We had a big laugh over it.

My MiL asked for clothes one year because she was starting to interview and didn't have any nicer, professional-looking items. I spent two hours at Lane Bryant picking outh things for her, according to the sizes she stated. I chose trousers that hung straight from her hip so that they could be altered easily as she is only 4'11". I spent so much time trying to make sure she looked nice for her interviews only to have her say, "I can't wear any of this. None of it fits and the pants are way too long and I can't afford to have them altered and so I just returned everything. Thanks anyway."

Now? She is exclusive Amazon list.

On Joe's side, it is almost all Amazon, except for a few special things. Usually comic-related for Joe and Wizard of Oz for me. On my side, if you give my mom a list, she uses that as a guide of what NOT to buy you. But, she is an awesome gift giver.

Or else people get a story to tell for the next twenty years, which is kind of it's own reward anyway.

I love the bubble wrap idea.

I always joke about the year my sister gave me a towel. It was actually an awesome idea and I still have it (it was in the form of a Paris metro ticket), but I love giving her sh*t for giving me a towel. I'm sure she also gave me Tiffany jewelry that year, but that seems to have been forgotten.

My mom, too. We have a Thing about it. with some people, I feel uncomfortable with my list. It makes me feel that they think I am into Stuff and just happen to have this cavalcade of expensive wants which I must share. It makes me embarrassed. OTOH, having one has improved my gift-satisfaction... although it is still great to be wowed from out of left field, too. ETA: This post has so many viewpoints, it's bloody useless. That's why I'm not a bigger star on dailykos, huh?

I don't particularly like being asked because it's kind of a pain in the ass - I'm sure there are specific things I do want but coming up with them to make a list?

To add to my own post from above - of course, if this is your tradition, the list making wouldn't be a chore because you'd be prepared for it, and probably think about things a little differently through the year to sort of note what you might list.

But I've just realized, reading all these posts, that I categorize wedding and baby shower and housewarming presents totally differently: those are occasions on which, while there's a lot of joy, there's also a huge amount of Life Changingness and metric assloads of stress. In those cases, it's really truly all about easing someone's transition into the shape of their new life, and, as Trudy said, being part of the community that helps to build it.

With JZ on this one. Though you'd have to have some real special circumstances to make me feel a housewarming list was appropriate, actually. [Which is kind of a bummer for the single and childless among us.]

Towels were my favorite present of several recent years! I love my gift towels! Which I did ask for, actually.

My BFF's dad and his sister had a decades-long tradition of giving each other the most hideous item with praying hands on it they could find. It was great, becaue they both had loads of $$$ so things weren't needed. The Praying Hands thing meant they could have great fun looking for the most vulgar thing each year and the whole family enjoyed seeing what the gift was. One of the most admired was praying hands golf tees, I remember.

implied virtue

One of the reasons I like to give gifts--- is I don't see it as a virtuous thing. I give because it might make someone happy. But I am also happy to do it. So I think it is a wash on the virtue scale.

I'm so horrible about responding to such inquiries, I still have a $125 credit on Amazon that I haven't spent on myself. This was from me turning in all my change at Coinstar and at the time I promised myself that I had saved all those pennies so I could buy a treat for ME. I spent part of it on a new suitcase and have hit a wall on the rest. Pathetic.

With JZ on this one. Though you'd have to have some real special circumstances to make me feel a housewarming list was appropriate, actually. [Which is kind of a bummer for the single and childless among us.]

When I moved into my first real grownup apartment I did a registry for my housewarming party. I knew my Mom's side of the family and various friends would want to get me stuff and I figured it should, you know, MATCH. And I didn't think I should have to get married to have stuff that matched.

So I did a registry at Bed Bath & Beyond and left the groom's line blank. Anybody who said "Ooh! what do you need for your new place?" was directed to the registry. Because clearly? They wanted to get me stuff I needed for my new place.