I don't particularly like being asked because it's kind of a pain in the ass - I'm sure there are specific things I do want but coming up with them to make a list?

To add to my own post from above - of course, if this is your tradition, the list making wouldn't be a chore because you'd be prepared for it, and probably think about things a little differently through the year to sort of note what you might list.

But I've just realized, reading all these posts, that I categorize wedding and baby shower and housewarming presents totally differently: those are occasions on which, while there's a lot of joy, there's also a huge amount of Life Changingness and metric assloads of stress. In those cases, it's really truly all about easing someone's transition into the shape of their new life, and, as Trudy said, being part of the community that helps to build it.

With JZ on this one. Though you'd have to have some real special circumstances to make me feel a housewarming list was appropriate, actually. [Which is kind of a bummer for the single and childless among us.]

Towels were my favorite present of several recent years! I love my gift towels! Which I did ask for, actually.

My BFF's dad and his sister had a decades-long tradition of giving each other the most hideous item with praying hands on it they could find. It was great, becaue they both had loads of $$$ so things weren't needed. The Praying Hands thing meant they could have great fun looking for the most vulgar thing each year and the whole family enjoyed seeing what the gift was. One of the most admired was praying hands golf tees, I remember.

implied virtue

One of the reasons I like to give gifts--- is I don't see it as a virtuous thing. I give because it might make someone happy. But I am also happy to do it. So I think it is a wash on the virtue scale.

I'm so horrible about responding to such inquiries, I still have a $125 credit on Amazon that I haven't spent on myself. This was from me turning in all my change at Coinstar and at the time I promised myself that I had saved all those pennies so I could buy a treat for ME. I spent part of it on a new suitcase and have hit a wall on the rest. Pathetic.

With JZ on this one. Though you'd have to have some real special circumstances to make me feel a housewarming list was appropriate, actually. [Which is kind of a bummer for the single and childless among us.]

When I moved into my first real grownup apartment I did a registry for my housewarming party. I knew my Mom's side of the family and various friends would want to get me stuff and I figured it should, you know, MATCH. And I didn't think I should have to get married to have stuff that matched.

So I did a registry at Bed Bath & Beyond and left the groom's line blank. Anybody who said "Ooh! what do you need for your new place?" was directed to the registry. Because clearly? They wanted to get me stuff I needed for my new place.

I absolutely have to have a list for presents for Pete and my parents. All of them have very particular tastes and interests, and I like being able to give them something that I KNOW they'll like, instead of guessing and picking out the wrong version or edition of something.

Me, on the other hand? Oooh, presents! I like presents! And apparently I'm one of the easiest people ever to shop for. Is it gothy/b&w striped/black & pink/festooned with skulls, bats, or both? Then I will probably like it.

Though you'd have to have some real special circumstances to make me feel a housewarming list was appropriate, actually.

I've never actually seen a housewarming list, but it's definitely an event for which I'd just call someone and say, "I want to get you a present; what do you need?" Or I'd just check for the nearest grocery/drugstore/pet food store to their new neighborhood and get them gift cards; if you've got kids and/or animals and a new job and a new bank and everything's totally chaotic and miserable, it's a huge relief just to be able to grab a card and go when you realize you've lost and/or forgotten overnight diapers or allergy meds or the litterbox has a hole in it.

(Note that none of this is anything I've actually done myself anytime in the last five years; between the serious efforts to lower my debt load, the baby having, and the job miseries over the past year, I've had no disposable income to speak of recently. But oh, how I look forward to going gift-and-help-crazy over all my friends when things are steadier again.)

eta: And I'd have no problem at all with a Trudyish list, or a brenda list, or anyone else's--moving is hard and chaotic for everyone, no matter who or what else is or isn't in their lives, and everyone deserves nice stuff that makes them happy!

go spend you amazon money NOW.

My aunts had a "shower" when they bought a house, because they assumed they'd never have a wedding, and dammit, they wanted a shower! (Note: they are, in fact, now married. And they got additional showers, I'm pretty sure.)