Heh-- 8/25 and I'll be 41

Sweet! I'm a leeetle freaked out about the big zero-year birthday but mostly I'm okay with it. We'll see how I am come next week! My friends are throwing a big party, casual cookout style, which is my favorite way to celebrate. But I think a bunch of my family is coming down for it. Chicago boyfriend will be there and I think that's even more of a draw then me turning 40!

I have a standard "bring me back from foreign" list, and I forgot it's probably too pricey for her. And bulky.

And hard to get through Customs.

I think a list is helpful as long as it is, well, more of a guideline than a rule. It helps one know what NOT to get, to avoid stuff like buying a friend Georgette Heyers because she loves them, but ending up getting her ones she already had, which happend with my BFF's 50th and made a carefully chosen gift way less exciting than it could have been.

It also helps you see patterns, like someone having an interest in a new genre of music or something. Seeing someone wants a humidor and cuban cigars means I don't have to get them either, but I that I can have fun looking at fancy ashtrays, for example. If the listmaker expects ONLY things on the list, then I might feel like a personal shopper. However, if I can use the list to help me please them, then Yahoo!

Honestly, I'm a little insulted by some of the attitudes towards the use of lists when buying gifts -- and I'm really am trying VERY hard to not be insulted, because I'm sure that's not the intent.

Dude! You asked! Like I said, I'm not offended or insulted by the lists. You set a premium on making sure the other person gets the thing they would most want. From my perspective, that's like going to a miniature golf course and walking the ball over and dropping it into the hole. I enjoy the process. I don't always get a hole in one. That's okay with me. It's okay with me if the person giving me a gift doesn't get the exactly perfect gift for me either. We're both just putting the ball at the windmill and maybe it goes through and maybe it doesn't.

I have failed to get my MiL cool gifts on most Christmases. But once I did find a cool OOP hardback with rare illustrations that I thought was a good match for her.

And hard to get through Customs.

Checked luggage explains the range in my living room.

Still no idea about meds. On which side to err? Hmm. I think I would have remembered. I'ma take them.

Dude! You asked!

I did. I just wasn't expecting so many people to actively disdain the use of lists when shopping for gifts, and be offended when asked for their gift preference. It makes me feel, again, like a total shitheel for being so vulgar as to ask what someone would enjoy having.

You set a premium on making sure the other person gets the thing they would most want. From my perspective, that's like going to a miniature golf course and walking the ball over and dropping it into the hole. I enjoy the process.

I tend to think of giving gifts as being about what the recipient wants, rather than what I find entertaining as a shopper. Gifts? Really are about the other person, not about me.

I think a list is helpful as long as it is, well, more of a guideline than a rule. It helps one know what NOT to get, to avoid stuff like buying a friend Georgette Heyers because she loves them, but ending up getting her ones she already had, which happend with my BFF's 50th and made a carefully chosen gift way less exciting than it could have been.

But what's wrong with asking "Hey, do you have [x] already?" Which is a simple question with a yes/no answer. As opposed to "What do you want for Arbor Day?" which is totally open-ended and kind of puts the person on the spot if they're *not* the kind of person who has a mental wish list on them at all times.

And then, there's the issue of how many wrong ways there are to answer that question, depending on the spirit in which it's asked. Some people want a straight answer and a list of stores where Item X is available. Some people want a class of objects. Some people want you to say "Oh, whatever you want will be fine!" And it's almost never okay to answer "Nothing" even if that's the only truthful answer you can give. Feh. Better to avoid the whole conversation.

I HAVE to give my MiL a list. If I don't, I end up with a LOT of useless crap that I feel guilty for donating to Goodwill.

C and I don't really exchange gifts on holidays or birthdays, but we do try to get each other something when we travel separately or Just Because. Most of the holiday/birthday spending is focused on the kids.

In my family, we stopped exchanging gifts between adults and only buy for kids (usually in a group effort).

Owen's wearing his new, sparkly, Hannah Montana t-shirt.

For our anniversary this year, E and I are having the apartment professionally cleaned. Seriously.

My mother asked me what food I wanted her to bring me when she comes in tomorrow. "Oh, whatever you want," I told her. Bad ita! Bad, bad ita! But she's my mother and just as airily replied that she doesn't want to bring me anything and she's much too old for this and if she had Gucci luggage she'd never bring anyone food ever again.

Stay tuned--in just over 24 hours I'll be able to tell you what the result of that conversation really was.