Susan, I am so sorry.

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Omnis--I would venture to guess that most women don't want to hear that you are attracted to them because they fit a "type." Nothing wrong with having a type, of course, but hearing that is the reason you are attracted is somewhat depersonalizing. I am sure you didn't mean that, but I thought I would mention it for future reference.

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Susan, I'm so sorry.

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Oh, Susan, that's terrible. Much strength to your whole family.

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Thanks, y'all.

I'm sad but not shocked because AFAIK this is more or less the expected progression. I'm sad, and angry, but I'm coping, because what else can you do? It's strange, because I love my mother, but I've always defined myself in opposition to her to some degree--probably a common mother-daughter dynamic--and what do you do when you don't have that person anymore?

I'm glad I'm going to CA next month, and I'm glad to be in a place with an understanding boss and coworkers. And, you know, life goes on in all its mixed-up glory. Part of me feels like I should be nothing but devastation now...but I'm still happy that Annabel's preschool teacher today praised her enthusiasm for learning letters and phonics and described her and her friends Maya and Keawa as "her talkers." And one of my colleagues had me go to the UW library for her today (I should change my name to Bunter, I swear). I used it as an excuse to get some research materials for myself, and I still loved the moment where I got into the stacks and breathed in that wonderful slightly musty research library smell, not to mention the serendipity of stumbling across books I'd never heard of that just happened to be shelved next to the ones I thought I was looking for. It's not that the grief and anger go away, they're just not the only notes in the song.

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See, what I got out of this sentence is "great...even she's got a husband."

I’m so with you on that.

Only slightly related (this quote sparked the memory, though, and it’s too cute to not share), my youngest girl at the after school program had a priceless little conversation with me tonight. She just turned four. I was down on her level, zipping up her coat so we could go outside.

E: Miss Val, did you get married?
Me: Nope. I haven’t gotten married yet.
E: You just haven’t found the right man?
Me: You could say that.
E: My mommy got married when she found the right man. He’s my daddy now.
Me: Yeah? Why was he the right man?
E: Because he was tall. (Note: He’s not actually that tall.) Don’t worry, Miss Val. Some day you’ll find the right tall man too. And then you can have a [kid’s name] too!

It was pretty sweet. Then her older sister (who’s in first grade) said, “She’s such a little kid. She doesn’t understand what it means to be in love.” You can’t make this stuff up.

when my friends got married their favorite gift was not on the registry. The groom's family got together and bought all kinds of household items that you might not think of- mops, scrubbies, cleansers, plastic wrap and foil... they assembled a near life-sized bride and groom out of the component parts.

My cousin’s wedding I went to in Alabama a few weeks ago? They bought a house, and they’re moving in soon. When they first went to see the house, they fell in love with the rocking chairs on the front porch--so much that my cousin tried to surprise his fiancé by trying to work them into the purchase of the house. He was devastated when the owners refused. So, his sisters all got together and bought rockers for the front porch. I kind of love that.

I’m of two minds about registries. I REALLY like to do a personal gift. Actually, I had an awesome wall quilt planned for my cousin and his wife. But, between life and the thesis, I just didn’t have time to get it done. So, instead, my brother and I got together and bought them all of one of the sets of stemware on their registry. It was nice to have a backup plan, I guess.

Oh, Susan. Much love and many prayers to your whole family. I’m so glad you’re going to be able to go see her in California.

I could be at Fenway watching the Red Sox right now, but I’m such a good student; I’m writing me Spanish composition that is due tomorrow. I hate being a good student.

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Omnis--I would venture to guess that most women don't want to hear that you are attracted to them because they fit a "type." Nothing wrong with having a type, of course, but hearing that is the reason you are attracted is somewhat depersonalizing. I am sure you didn't mean that, but I thought I would mention it for future reference.

Ha, ya, ok, the way I wrote it, i could see that. No, I'm not THAT inept. "hi, I love you cuz your ___ is so ___, will you go out with me?" No, not what I did. I'm not that bad. It happened a few times in those "I am ugly, how can you love me" moments, where I would try and reassure her of why she ISN"T ugly. And then she would be like "you like what? you are a freak" which I always found strange. Why push someone away who finds you attractive? I dunno. Maybe I'm not explaining it right. It was also late teens/early 20's time. Haven't had that issue so much as an adult.

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You guys, my mom just tried to add me on Facebook.

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Your mother is on Facebook? Is she stalking you? Looking for a community of potential brides to hook you up to--or to make sure you're not looking in the wrong areas?

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I think she just joined because it seemed like the thing to do. My cousin got on a month ago to see what the big deal was, too.

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