They put the farmboy in a *collar*. Everyone is conspiring to corrupt that boy. I thought he did pretty well, actually.

Oh thank goodness, re: Top Chef tonight. She was really starting to irritate me with the constant "Oh oops I don't know how to cook this, I'll fix it by doing something EVEN WORSE! Whine whine my dish was the most difficult wah wah wah."

And to the woman who looks like a cross between Catherine Keener and Maggie Gyllenhal - the reason your fellow competitors are "underestimating" you is because you keep losing the challenges. They think you're not a threat because the judges have explicitly said more than once that your food does not taste as good as theirs.

Adechike's dancing feels cold and stiff to me. he doesn't connect with his partner.

Cracktastic costumers are back. Misha Chan in studded leggings with ankle boots? Dreadful. I didn't feel the Fosse.

Okay, I'm getting tired of the "dive through the rounded arms to be caught against his body" trick. It's not exciting anymore.

Billy surprisingly not totally sucking. It wasn't super hard (not as in difficult), and his "hard face" was cute.

Robert still annoys me, but he rocked that dance. They were really terrific.

I really like Melinda, but she's got sloppy feet. I want her to do well.

I loved the Bollywood number. Jose seems to have so much fun when he dances. You could really see the bboy coming out in some of the moves. I could see the energy waning a bit as it went on, but it was still fun.

Not a fan of lyrical hip hop in general. I was very eh. Part of it is my general dislike of Dominic, added to by his stupid hair. I think that the raving about her performance was more due to low expectations than it being that great.

They keep putting Kent last, and I think that's deliberate, so that he's memorable for the calls. But needing a "sexual tension" is going to be rough.

I was a little worried about the set pieces/props on this show tonight. They seemed a little unstable, particularly the picnic table for Comfort/Billy and the table for Kent/Courtney.

OMG, Kent's adorable. I want Mark to take his virginity.

The kids in high waisted shorts and Dirty Dancing style rolled leg cut offs (on boys!) were killing me softly. Killing me.

Alex Wong was just as adorable as a child as he is as an adult. Robert continues to be smoking hot and kind of annoying all at the same time. Huh.

Cristina and Pasha/Paso Doble/Jean Marc and Franz/The same classical song they always use – I love Jean Marc and Franz and her radioactive hair. Cristina is a real cutie. I tried to pay attention to her, but I was distracted by all the Shirtless Pasha. The lifts were a little tentative, but that’s understandable. The carriage on Pasha is just insane. I thought Cristina did well, too, but she can’t hang with him. It’s kind of not at all fair. Paso is already the most man-centric of all the Latin dances and on top of it, Cristina had to compete with Pasha and yeah, she lost. Very good routine by Jean Marc and Franz. Mucho caliente? Oh, Shankdaddy. Don’t try to speak Spanish. I’m embarrassed for you.

Adechike/Allison/Contemporary/Mandy Moore – Listen to Your Heart. Oh, Mandy. Don’t every change. I love how much she loves cheesy 80’s and early 90’s pop. Who else would use Roxette? Y'all, Adechike’s just a charisma chasm. Allison is so gorgeous. Just a beautiful, breathtaking dancer. And once again, she was giving it. She was dancing with him and he was doing steps. He’s got great technique. And he tried to bring more, but emoting and feeling the movement is not the same as just smiling. The judges actually gave good critique. He needs to get lost in his dances. You can see the wheels turning and see him thinking through the steps and not living and breathing them. The judges are right on. But I don’t know that he has that thing that they are asking him for.

Alex/Lauren/Broadway/Tyce – Oh my stars! He was so, so cute. Tasty? Tasty? What the fuck? And inspired by the Fosse style? The hell you say. Good lord, Bob Fosse should rise up from his grave and slap this fool into the middle of next week. Summertime is the music. Alex is amazing, obvie, but this style of movement is so different for a ballet dancer. All the hips and the hunched shoulders. And his performance was not perfect. He was still a little too pulled up, not quite grimy enough. But he did well. And the leaps and the turns and the whole all of all was fantastic. What is Nigel talking about? Hunched shoulders are a Fosse trademark. Nigel’s full of shit. I got what Mia and Shankdaddy meant. The movement did need to be smaller. I think the thing with Fosse was actually that he wasn’t an extravagantly talented dancer so he created this whole style of movement that played off of hunched shoulders and sunken hips and the smallest of movements, a snap, a flick of the foot, a quarter turn having meaning. He also played with a lot of bump ‘n grind vaudeville movement which is not as elegant or as refined as ballet movement tends to be. So I think it’s fair to say that while I loved it because I loved watching Alex move, it wasn’t Fosse. Oh, and the choreo was ass. But that’s a given with Tasty Broadway, soooooo . . .

Billy/Comfort/Krump/Lil C – Billy in pleather with flames? That’s like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds! Billy saying “Boosh” is the best thing ever. And the buck face? Awww, baby, you know you’re not buck. So U Think U Can Krump. He looks like he’s on puppet strings. And the running leaps with the pointed feet? And the miles of turn out? Baby. No. There’s no pointing feet in Krump. Well, he was really trying. That’s . . . something. And Comfort was killing it and yet still trying to keep it matched up with Billy. But, for real? It wasn’t good.

Robert/Anya/Argentine Tango/Jean Marc and Franz – I’ll agre with all the Buffistas that I’m not feeling blonde Anya. Ahhhh. He’s so cheesy. I wish he weren’t so frikkin’ cheesy. He’s like Jim Carrey levels of cheesy. Libertango. OK. He’s killing it in terms of the look and the attitude. Holy hell. And I know many, many dancers who would kill for that plie in second position. It wasn’t as good as some of the best tangos on the show – Brandon/Janette or Danny/Sarah. But it was good. He was a good lead. Strong and in command. There was passion. His ganchos were good. A little bit sloppy on the footwork. But well done. Especially because his pro, Anya, is not a tango expert either. I agree with Shankdaddy that the style didn’t sit entirely comfortably on him, but I thought he was better than what they gave him credit for. I was really liking him until he went right back to cheesing through his numbers. Sigh. He makes me tired.

Melinda/Ade/Contemporary/Stacy Tookey – Squander. What is she wearing? Oh trannyhos in wardrobe and make up. Crack is whack. Melinda needs tons more extension. She needed to reach through the tippy tips of her fingers and toes. Right now, she looks very contained. She needs to let go more. That part where she was pushing Ade with her head on his stomach needed so much more. More tension. More push/pull. More energy. Just more everything. She just lacks intention for me. Huh. I was much less impressed with her than the judges were. She doesn’t get the “Oh, you’re just a . . . “ pass. Almost all the kids are dancing out of their style/comfort zone tonight (except Adechike and Ashley so far) and that’s what this show is all about. If you didn’t come to party, take your broke broke home. I’d be happy to let her go this week.

And Kent is just so ... KENT. I adore him.

Word.

OMG, Kent's adorable. I want Mark to take his virginity.

Vortex just made me spill my water I'm laughing so hard!

And word.

All the best performed numbers seemed to coincide with the weather warnings that kept on showing up on the bottom third of my tv and ran for.e.ver. Stupid CBS affiliate.

Adechike’s just a charisma chasm

OMG, yes. Gorgeous technique, sucky performance. He should be in the B3 this week.

I think the thing with Fosse was actually that he wasn’t an extravagantly talented dancer so he created this whole style of movement that played off of hunched shoulders and sunken hips and the smallest of movements, a snap, a flick of the foot, a quarter turn having meaning.

I remember watching the PBS recording of Fosse with the intermission interviews with Ann Renking and Ben Vereen, where they were talking about a rehearsal of Sweet Charity in which Fosse had them working on one little hand flick for hours, and when some of the dancers were rolling their eyes at his perfectionism, he threated to fire them immediately. That concentration on the little movements is what Alex needed, but he doesn't have time in the show's format.

Robert's tango was good, but the lightness combined with intensity and the speed were both missing for me. I much preferred Brandon and Janette's tango, because he had both of those qualities as well as the technique.

Melinda--good (although her dance was one blocked by weather radar). Cristina--good (hers was also blocked). Jose--so much fun to watch, but as the judges said, it was so wrong as a Bollywood number. He was totally a hip-hopper/bboy attempting Bollywood, and it was cute. Ashley--forgettable for me again. Billy--just not a believable krumper, although he seemed to hit most of the steps. Liked the fact they have a new hiphop choreographer, liked that she got a decent performance out of Lauren who was really shaken up afterward--good for her.

Jose/Kathryn/Bollywood/Nakul/Won’t even pretend with the song – I guess they are hoping for some of that Kathryn/Legacy lightning to strike twice. Well, we’ll see. Oh, he’s really giving it the old college try. And no, it’s not perfect. He kind of lost steam about halfway through the routine and there were a few too many b-boy moves, freezes and such, thrown in for good measure. But that was fun. He looked like he had fun. Some of the turns were excellent. Overall, good performance quality. So-so dance quality. Like a lot of the kids tonight.

Lauren/Dom/Lyrical Hip Hop/Tessandgra Chavez/If I Were a Boy – Oh perfect, my two least favorite dancers of the season together. Thanks, Nigel. But hey, new hip hop choreographer blood. And OK. Toothy Blonde Cheerleader was kind of tearing it up. I still dislike the whole concept of lyrical hip hop, but this choreo was better than NappyTab in this style. And TBC was good. Much more connected than last week. And she’s just a good dancer. Good like “whoa!” And Dom is a great, great b-boy, and he’s gotten so much better since dancing with Qwest. He’s ridiculous. Yeah, she was good. Better this week. I still don’t care for her.

Kent/Courtney/Jazz/Tasty – I thinkKent will do well with this in terms of movement quality, but sexual tension? Yikes. And a cunniliftus? Has Tasty been spending time with Doriana? Yuck. Amy Amy Amy is the song. Kent in bondage gear is blowing my mind. It was gorgeously danced. This boy moves like a dream. But the sexy face? With the open mouth? Yeah, It was kind of laughable. But my stars, that barrel turn, almost kind of like a rotating stag leap? Thing of beauty. And the toe point on this kid is insane. Insane. He’s a gorgeous thing. And he’s so sweet he could cause sugar shock. On a side note, I loved the Travis bitchface when Nigel busted on the jazz/not jazz thing again. Did y’all peep it. He seriously wanted to cut Nigel. Ha! Once again, like with Adechike and Ashley, technique on point. Performance, not so much. And not because he lacks personality, just that he’s not believable as a sexual beast. It actually might’ve worked better if he had danced it with Mark.

So this was a weird night. Nobody put it all together. Either the kids had the performance quality but lacked in embodying the style/technique of the dance they were given (Cristina/Alex/Robert/Jose), or they had the technique but something in the performance/feel of the dance was missing (Adechike/Ashley/Kent). The bottom two couples for me were clearly Melinda/Ade and Billy/Comfort. I wouldn’t want to see Billy hit B3 because I love him, but I do think he was objectively the worst on that stage tonight. The clear best of the night, the ones who came closes to giving both solid technique and good performance were TBC and Dom (and I think I lost my lunch just having to type that). I’ve no idea who B3 will be, but I think and hope Adechike will hit B3 this week and maybe even go home because he’s just like dance wallpaper. I think Melinda may go B3 again, even though the judges tried to prop her up. She wasn’t great. The third spot is hard. I think it could be Ashley, though she was technically gorgeous in the dance and that may save her. Could be Cristina again. She went first and she was OK, but not outstanding. People may forget about her. I think Billy and Alex have enough of a fan base to keep them out of B3, even though you could make a case for both of them to be there (Billy more so than Alex). Yeah, I don’t know. This was a very mixed bag kind of a night. No one hit it out of the park, so anyone could be in danger.

I love Mia and Adam both, but I also miss the rotating judges. Sigh. I want Lil C back!

OK, they made that look all random but CLEARLY it wasn't, or some of the boys would've picked boys, etc--I hate when they make it look more random than it is, y'know?

Cristina/Pasha/Paso Doble--OK, those first couple flip/grab things were a little rough. That said...the rest of this was damn well better than any other paso doble I remember seeing on this show. Though I would expect it to be! Fun!

Adechike/Allison/Contemporary--so, just connect and no story? Uh oh? Hmm. Watching it--I feel like he's good...but Allison is amazing. Which....is not good. I mean, he was fine, and it was good, and I suspect there will be worse. But. (Ooh, Mia giving actual criticism for a sec there!) And he IS very pretty when he smiles!

Alex/Lauren/Broadway--oh god, Fosse again, Tyce? God Alex's pirouettes are smooth. Meh. I'm hating on the style. (I think Mia wanted him to be Mark?)

Ashley/Mark/jazz--(oh, I love this song) I liked the spinning into him grabbing her bit. Overall, it was nice. There were a couple spots where I couldn't tell if she was smiling appropriately or not, or what. Hrm. (OK, with Nigel--no idea what makes jazz vs contemp other than contemp involves more flat feet in places rather than pointing toes?)

Billy/Comfort/krump--oh, oh dear. Scared. So, were they just trying to guarantee one of the boys ends up in teh bottom three this week? Was that the plan? Between this and the Bollywood, they figured surely someone would look like ass?

Robert/Anya/tango--well, he looks damn good in that outfit. It's a start. As for the dancing? I've seen better, from other non-ballroom guys doing the tango on this show.

Melinda/Ade/contemp--WTF IS SHE WEARING?!? (For that matter, why can't they get him a shirt that fits?) Well, we know who the costume crackhos hate. There's a lot of aimless reaching in this dance. I...don't know what to say. (OMG! MIA I LOVE YOU MARRY ME. "I'm wearing a bedspread!" "It was gorg-zwhah!")

(Is it just because I"m watching without TiVo, or are there approximately A BAZILLION commercial breaks?)

Jose/Katherine/Bollywood--there's jewelry flying! Nigel is babbling. WTF, Nigel?

Lauren/Dom/hiphop--ooh, a new choreographer! Ooh, and she has to not be smiley!?! I hate DOm, so now I really want to see other people dance this. Too much hair-flipping. HOW DOES THERE MANAGE TO BE SO MUCH HAIR-FLIPPING?!?!?!

Kent/Courtney---ah, I missed the intro on this one, dang. Mmm. Dunno about the dancing, but a great job with the facial expressions and connection! Boy can work it. Adorable. OMG, he just made me laugh out loud in my hotel room--"First thing when you say Kent, people picture me in this!" Hmm, I disagree with the judges, I thought he did OK. Maybe more with the power in the dancing, but face-wise, it worked for me, at least when the camera-crack-whores gave me closeups? Good god, this boy will not be bottom 3 material for a long long time.

OK, they made that look all random but CLEARLY it wasn't, or some of the boys would've picked boys

They color-coded the envelopes--pink for girls, blue for boys.

They color-coded the envelopes--pink for girls, blue for boys.

Oh! Awesome. See, the things I miss by having to watch without TiVo? Hate.

Woo Hoo John Parrot!!