Most of the kids did much, much better tonight. The Beatles are magic, y'all. Mamasox is the cream of the crop. I also really enjoyed Casey, Siobahn, Katie (What? Katie!) and Lee (until the bagpipes, which were just too WTF for me). I hate what Mike did to Eleanor Rigby. Andrew continues to sing every song like it's exactly the same song. And Tim must die. Like every week, I've already forgotten what Aaron even sang, but he's cute and grannies and tweens alike can enjoy him, so he'll continue to get the John Stevens vote. I predict Andrew will hit the road this week. I wish it were Tim, but I fear Vote for the Worst + the Disney Channel/Zac Efron set will keep him around at least as long as Sanjaya.
Other random musings:
Randy is to old to rock the letterman sweater. For real.
Aaron. I always forget he’s even on the show. Oh, they don’t have a mentor this week. What does Lee mean he doesn’t know what he was doing at 16? He’s only 20 something now. The Long and Winding Road. This kid always picks songs too mature for him. What long and winding road has he been down? What door is he going to? And if he gets there and there’s a woman behind it, he wouldn’t know what to do with her anyway. He’s a fetus. And he’s struggling with this song. He’s not on pitch. I love the Simon face on his answer to why he chose the song.
Katie. How could you put the two tween-bots back to back? Ewwww. And what did she say about her prom date? Excuse me? So basically, you will whore yourself out for votes. Really? And no, she can’t do the Single Ladies dance. She looks like she’s having a fit. Where is Kurt from Glee when you need him to put the beat down on her? Let It Be. She’s not doing a bad job. I wish she had taken it down a step. She’s at the very top of her range. The held notes went a little bit sharp because I think she had to push more than she needed to. But overall, that’s her best performance in weeks.
Andrew Garcia. Can’t Buy Me Love. Huh. That’s a strange choice. He sings every song like he’s singing the same song. Newsflash: Not every song is the same song. Also, this song has about four notes. Also, also, this song is nothing without the harmonies. Terrible. That performance was garbage. OK, I officially give up on this kid. The ex-banger parents can give me a call. We’ll hang and eat tamales.
Big Mike. Eleanor Rigby. Great song. I’m pleasantly surprised that he picked it. And then he cheeses it all the hell up. Listen. You can’t turn this song into an R&B song. You can’t R. Kelly the hell out of it. It just does not work. I hate it. I hate it. He stripped all the emotion out of the song. This is not booty music. Yick. Bleagh. You’re not sure all of it worked? Try none of it worked, Randy. Shut up, Dawg. It didn’t work on any level. Any level. Shut up, fool. You’ll never be on the radio. So, so cheesy.
Crystal. Come Together. Exactly what I wanted her to sing. She will destroy with this. Oh, yeah. Bring it, you white devil woman! That was good. This girl is just good.
Tim. All My Loving. This kid just can’t sing. Straight up can’t sing. He’s all nasally up in his nasal. He’s flat. Just what? Frikkin’ Vote for the Worst. Why is it not over yet? Did he get longer than everyone else? My ears are bleeding. Good god, y’all. The judges are doing the damning with faint praise thing. Won’t work, though. This kid is going to Sanjaya the hell out of this season.
Cowboy Casey. Jealous Guy. This is not a Lennon and McCartney song. So basically, he’s decided to cheat this week? Ok, then. Great song, though. And he sounds really good. He usually does. And this kid can play the guitar. For sure. That was an excellent performance. Probably the best I’ve heard from him.
Siobahn. Across the Universe. Ooooh. Love this song. I hope she does it Fiona Apple style. Beautiful. I loved. Suck it, judges. She rocked the house.
Lee Dewyze. Hey Jude. Excellent. (continued...)