Seriously - if you are a dude, always wear your cup UNDER your pants when you come into the dojo.

The more you know.

This may be the best conversation ever in Non-Fiction TV. And so unexpected.

FYI--SYTYCD comes back on May 27th!

YTAY SCYTYCD!!!

Idol thoughts -- Sibhon (sp?) was fantastic she was the only one who really worked the stage.

Youngest boy did better than I thought.

Crystal looked better - I mean at the results show last weeks he looked so sad and down. But she sang great, she always sang great.

I'm so peeved that they are breaking out Stones week the season after Kris, Adam and Allison are on the show. For real.

Big Mike - Voice sounded fine. Performance was a cheese factory. As usual. And I already forgot what he sang, so that can't be good.

Didi Benami/Playing with Fire - Her voice sounded great. It might not have been the best song choice, but it was solid. I agreed with the judges. Except Judge #4, who is always wrong.

Simon and Ryan are making me very, very uncomfortable.

SYTYCD in May? Oh, happy day!

Casey James/It's All Over Now - Well, now I'm always going to think of him as brain damage boy. He's not on the pitch. That's sad. The guitar playing is excellent. And I see what he was going for and the rasp could work, but he's just . . . off. I can't tell whether he's sharp or flat (I think maybe a little bit flat?) but it's just a big ole case of close but no cigar. And just standing there and not making good eye contact with the audience is hella boring. Good clothes.

Lacey/Ruby Tuesday - This girl just can't sing. At all. I fail to understand why she is still on this show. Shaky, horrible, off key notes all over the place. Was she on key even once during that whole song? I don't think so. She's horrible, horrible. What a horrible little creature. That last note was painful. She's like the opening act at some bad roadside dive in hell. Yuck.

Andrew Garcia/Gimme Shelter - I blame Diddy for the ubiquitous, side shaved haircut. This kid can sing, but he's very low key. He kind of sings every song in exactly the same way, though. He has like four notes that he can consistently hit and he arranges the songs so that he can hit those four notes. Which, I suppose, is what you do to work with the instrument you've been given, but it's kind of boring on this show. The last glory note was OK. He just doesn't have the energy necessary to be a rock star. Also, it is so, so sad that Randy Jackson doesn't understand the meaning of the word "pitchy". I mean, I know I'm not a music super-producer, and I haven't worked with Mariah and Whitney and them, but I'm pretty sure that next to the abomination that was Lacey Brown, Andrew Garcia did not deserve the pitchy label. He was on pitch and hitting all of the about four notes he sang.

Katie/Wild Horses - Why does she dress like she's an extra at Julia Roberts wedding in Steel Magnolias? And I knew she'd pick this song. Fuck. And I'm sure she's going to try to sing the Buffy version. Double fuck. Well, she started out way too low. Her lower register is really not on point. Once she got into her upper register and started using her head voice, it got better. The back half of the song was a big improvement. It was just so derivative. And boring.

OMG. Just saw a new clip ad for the next Amazing Race episode. The blond (from bb?) just keeps bringing the DUMB. Oy.

The words Tim Urban and fans should not be in the same sentence. Ever.

Tim Urban/Under My Thumb - Oh my heavens. Who thought it would be a good idea to give this boy this faux reggae arrangement for this song? They are punking him, right? They put him on this show as a joke? Ashton is behind this, right? I mean, it's bad enough that he can't sing and he's rocking the modified 70's Partridge Family 'do. But seriously, who thought it was a good idea to put him on the show? And who is voting for him? Please, make it stop.

Siobahn/Paint It Black - Yay! I really wanted her to sing this song. Love this weirdo kid. And she's doing a whole GaGa thing with it. Awesome. And I loved the scream. It's a rock song, baby. So scream your heart out. That was a great performance. She put her foot in that song.

Lee Dewyze/Beast of Burden - Great song. I wanted it for Mamasox, though. But I like his version. He has got a pleasant, kind of raspy, rambling voice. Kind of Counting Crows. If this were 1993, I'd be all over this kid's jock. But now there's something slightly dated about him. He could be the lead singer in an Alt Rock cover band, maybe. But this kid's not a star. He did do very, very well with this song.

Paige/Honky Tonk Woman - Her mom is beautiful. Wow. I would not have pegged this girl as a church singer. OK. Well, this is the best she's ever sounded. I wonder when she learned how to sing on key and why she didn't do it sooner, since she obviously can. The look is heinous still. Some more. A cammo romper, black stockings and brown boots? Oh, honey. No.

Aaron/Angie - What difference does it make if your mom can't sing but your adopted? It's not like you inherited any talent (or lack thereof) from her directly. I don't mean to be rude (that's my best Simon). And this is the best he's sounded in a while. Still, there's an unpleasant nasal quality to his voice that I just do not enjoy. I guess it might work for country, what with the twangy and all. But for me, he's just too nasally all up in his nasal. I don't think he could do much better than he did on that song. And I still hated it.

Crystal/You Can't Always Get What You Want - I feel like this is almost a lazy song choice from her. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving it. She sounds amazing, soulful, bluesy, the whole kit and caboodle. But this is so right in her wheelhouse. There's not challenge here for her. I would've loved to see her stretch a little bit, rock out. Pick a song that no one would've ever thought of for her. I mean, I get it. First week. You want to get a good performance under your belt. I just think it was kind of a missed opportunity.

I just put on an old Top Model, and it's the one where the girls (Jaslene, etc.) posed as men with drag queens. I missed the part with the actual shoot, but I'm pretty sure I see Raven from Drag Race!

Marcel (Top Chef) is going to have a show on Syfy:

Marcel's Quantum Kitchen

Utilizing the science of cooking, Marcel's Quantum Kitchen stars one of America's most notorious chefs, molecular gastronomist Marcel Vigneron (Top Chef). In each episode, Marcel and his new catering and event company will be hired by a demanding client to produce an extraordinary celebration or event. Based on the client's requests, Marcel will dream up a theme and cuisine for the event, which range from a fairytale graduation party and a Goth-rock fashion show to a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a new subway line. He and his team of party planners and chefs will tap the depths of their imagination and culinary talents to create everything from the immersive décor to a delicious menu that emphasizes Marcel's unique brand of avant-garde cooking.

Marcel's Quantum Kitchen is a production of Intuitive Entertainment. Executive Producers: Kevin Dill and Mechelle Collins.

friendly, neighborhood reminder that David Cook will be performing on AI tonight!