Back to Joyce and Buffy's behavior at the end of "Becoming":
If the information in "Normal Again" is to be trusted, Buffy did tell Joyce and Hank about vampires and she was institutionalized for a shor time when she was a new Slayer. (Personally, I think that is one of the changes brought about by the monks when they inserted Dawn into the picture). Either way, I think it was self-preservation that kept Buffy from confiding her secret to Joyce. Also, I'm sure that both Merrick and Giles repeatedly emphasized that Joyce couldn't be told. Giles even mentions this in "Passion", when Buffy is worried about Joyce's safety and how she's going to explain Angel to her.
The Scoobies could know Buffy's secret because they wouldn't be a threat to her, whereas Joyce could prevent her from performing her duties as the Slayer if she was of a mind to do so.
Honestly, I think the time for secrecy was past the moment Evil Angel accosted Joyce at the front door. Trusting that Angel wouldn't hurt her out of some screwy need to play along was, IMHO, an insane risk. In her shoes I'd have much rather dealt with the parental freak-out than chanced finding my mom sans reflection some night.
I never really bought Joyce and Hank putting Buffy in a mental institution, even as a monk-changed bit of history. Joyce and Buffy seems too comfortable together in season 1. However I do see Joyce as deliberately living in the land of denial regarding weird stuff going on. I wouldn't have believed she really wanted to know, if I was Buffy. I do agree, once Angel was evil, and still had an invite to her house, the time for secrecy is past. If he wasn't such a malnipulative sucker he could have just killed Joyce, instead of playing Stalker!Boyfriend with her.
The Scoobies could know Buffy's secret because they wouldn't be a threat to her, whereas Joyce could prevent her from performing her duties as the Slayer if she was of a mind to do so.
And just how many times did we see Buffy go out the window when Joyce had "grounded" her? Nuh-uh, doesn't fly. And I don't think Joyce would have turned her over to social services as incorrigible.
I agree that once Angelus came out to play, both Buffy and Giles should have gone to Joyce and explained Buffy's powers and obligations. While Joyce might not have believed Buffy, most adults will listen to another adult without dismissing them out of hand. Giles might have been able to get through to Joyce. However, BtVS is not the real world and we wouldn't have had all that lovely pain and angst to beat Buffy down with if that had actually happened. And for the sake of the story, it had to happen. I know I'm always more sympathetic to Buffy when she's getting the raw end of the deal. Just, Joyce's situation really pinged me because it was my life being enacted there with me in the role of Joyce.
I agree that once Angelus came out to play, both Buffy and Giles should have gone to Joyce and explained Buffy's powers and obligations.
What's lovely about the secrecy, is that it's a wonderful detail about the corruption of the Council. It's subtle, but it's powerful. Now I sincerely believe Giles insisted Buffy follow Coucil protocol on the secrecy issue, because he believed it would help keep Joyce safe. But it's really a great analogy for the secrecy aspect of child molestation. "Don't tell your Mom, or she'll die."
"Ted" died. Details in Natter.
This might be the cookies talking, but he rocked.
He rocked like a rocking thing. A funny rocking thing.
What's lovely about the secrecy, is that it's a wonderful detail about the corruption of the Council. It's subtle, but it's powerful. Now I sincerely believe Giles insisted Buffy follow Coucil protocol on the secrecy issue, because he believed it would help keep Joyce safe. But it's really a great analogy for the secrecy aspect of child molestation. "Don't tell your Mom, or she'll die."
Good point, Cindy. I didn't pick up on that aspect. I approached it more with "The Council is stuck in its hideabound ways", but your point makes even more sense, and follows the later implications about the Council better.
I don't think Joyce would have turned Buffy over to social services or anything, but she could have moved away from Sunnydale and had Buffy undergo intensive therapy, if not outright committing her for a while, which would have seriously hampered Buffy's effectiveness. The only way Joyce could have been convinced was outright proof (just like that seen in "Becoming"), but Giles would have never approved it, since he hadn't broken free from the Council himself yet.
