Also, Florida's solution to securing migrants is to build “Alligator Alcatraz”, tent cities in the Everglades because the threats from wildlife will keep them from escaping.

What the fuck, Florida.

Not a genuine question. Just...of course. This is the stupidest timeline.

I am endlessly jealous of people in California who can just walk outside and pick an avocado from their own magical avocado tree.

I was out in Napa for a wedding once and there were fig bushes everywhere and I just kept eating them. Like, dust them off on my shirt and om nom nom. Sun warmed perfectly ripe figs, magnificent. We're waiting for our table at a restaurant and I've started my appetizer. I was, like, forty.

Getting an extra day sitting at the cabin while I wait for FedEx to bring me the car keys that my sister accidentally took home with her this morning.

That's a good sister!

I'm so sorry, msbelle.

I heard about that Alligator Alcatraz thing. Just. Argh. What Dana said

I was out in Napa for a wedding once and there were fig bushes everywhere and I just kept eating them. Like, dust them off on my shirt and om nom nom. Sun warmed perfectly ripe figs, magnificent.

JZ usually took advantage of the sun warmed figs along her way to start the day at RenFaire. One of her favorite memories of Faire life.

I rented a room in a house for a while that had an enormous fig tree in the yard. So many figs. I tried so many recipes up to and including fig jam and was not really able to use them all up. It's amazing I still like them, but I do.

We did have an avocado tree, as well as oranges, grapefruit, lemons, pineapples, and ackee! (as well as lots and lots of coconuts) The avocados are super frustrating because they take forever to ripen.

my son hasn't had power for 2 days now

Yikes!

Power was out at my place from 0230 to 1530 last Saturday. High temperature outside reached 94℉. When the temperature inside my apartment reached 84℉ I gave up and went out for a large iced lemonade and an hour's drive out on the highway in my air-conditioned car. I was very happy to find power restored when I got back. It took six hours for the air-conditioning to get my apartment back down to 72℉.

I want to make a diamond avocados are too tight joke but I actually don’t care for avocados so that would not affect me at all. I gather others feel differently.

I am still sat at the cabin, waiting for the keys that were supposed to be here by noon. Which would be fine except that the dog has a vet appointment at 4:30 and I have a fancy dinner tonight. The vet appointment is nearly an impossibility at this point. The fancy dinner TBD.

Just to bring this post full circle:. It is a hot new Oaxacan restaurant and I imagine dinner will actually feature plenty of avocado. So my sister, one of those oddball avocado lovers, may be the ultimate winner in all of this. The dinner is already paid for so somebody should go.

So 99.9% of the trip went by with no major health hiccups. I discovered that my legs get progressively weaker over a long day and/or a long drive - which led to the discovery that the steps in a pool or hot tub are TOO DAMN TALL when my legs are tired. And also that my sciatic issues in my right leg get very dramatic on a long drive, especially when exacerbated by being very tired. But all pretty manageable. Then, literally on my own front porch, I tried to get my big bag into the house (it has wheels, seemed perfectly doable!) and managed to trip on my step, get tangled in the bag, and sort of fall over sideways, partly onto the front walk and partly into a cyprus bush. After a moment to catch my breath and collect myself, I was able (with the help of my friend) to get to a seated position, then kneeling position. But I Just Couldn't Get to My Feet. Even holding onto the handle of the screen door and with my friend supporting on the other side, I just couldn't get my legs to support me enough to stand. Thankfully a couple of neighbors happened by walking their dog and offered to help - one of them was able to just get his arms under my armpits and lift me up. Once I was on my feet I was OK, I just couldn't get there on my own. It was so frustrating and humiliating. And my poor friend was on the verge of a (literal) panic attack because she couldn't help me enough. As if the cancer wasn't enough, the chemo destroying my strength and balance like this is really NOT OK. My pre-diagnosis body was far from perfect, but pretty good, comparatively. I really didn't know how good I had it.

Anyway, I'm OK now. Sore, as you might imagine. A small scrape on my elbow and a pretty good bruise down my back where I landed on the edge of the front step. And the bruised ego, of course. My friend kept saying, "You have to remember to ask for help!" And I kept replying that "I didn't want help! I wanted to do this one thing on my own!"

I was really hoping to avoid turning into my mother (in her 70s) physically. I really didn't want to turn into her at 54.

I haven't decided whether I'll post this on FB. There are people who would want the info, but too many who would worry too much, especially those too far away geographically who would just feel bad because they're not close enough to help. But I wanted to get it out and I know I can trust you guys to be sympathetic and supportive - and not to make me feel bad for making you feel bad.

Hope your keys show up ASAP, brenda, and you get to enjoy the dinner. Oaxacan (pronounced Wa-hock-an, for those of you not in the know) is delish, I'm glad either you or H will get to enjoy it, but hope you don't have to miss out.