Enjoy Weird Al, and happy anniversary!

Happy birthday Shir!

Brother's birthday lunch was fine. Burgers were good, but I took the lettuce off mine cause I'm scared to eat it now(anti- Lee Greenwood moment, for real) Sometimes I can't believe how much time I wasted trying to Live Up To My Father's Standards, because semi-retired? He's kind of pathetic. It's been long enough since I ate a green salad that I'm minorly craving one, but I would rather face being incidentally shot in the face and die in my Thousand Island than cope with anything else in my gut, ever again.Hate that I might need to say "hold the shit-lettuce" when I go out, brings back pandemic feelings...do not want. Kind of bugged that my publication doesn't rate as high within the fam as the fact that my thirty-year-old half brother has kept maybe his third job ever for a whole month, like a big boy. And he works in a warehouse so his co-workers are probably all autistic, ex-cons, or both.(So maybe I could stop hearing that Stoner Boy got out of high school in three years.) I know that side doesn't read, and my own history is spotty, but I do have bigger things holding me back than a bong and Fruity Pebbles. My weird cousin Jake is marrying a black lady.Wishing her a bunch of luck coping with my uncle's "sense of humor" and my aunt's sticky fingers.

Ugh. In an article I'm editing, the disclaimer section reports the authors' funding, which came from the US Army, and then they add in the boilerplate statement of "The opinions in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the [funding source]," and because the source is the Army, it has to read "The opinions or assertions contained herein are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the US Army, Department of War, or the US Government." First time I've seen "Department of War" in an article. So fucking ludicrous.

So dumb. But I guess it satisfies Whiskeydick Hegseth. Expensive and nonsensical erection, Pete. Actual Mom says that she thinks he smells every time she sees him--all that dirty hair.

The endodontist I saw today looked like Pushing Daisies-era Lee Pace. It was very distracting, but in a good way.

Mmmm, Pushing Daisies

Oh! -t and Jen, did you listen to the latest Midnight Burger (the Patreon drop)???

Yes! I am SO GLAD they mentioned it was the penultimate episode in the intro because I have gotten very lost. Although now I don't know if there's more Welcome to the Horizon (this season). I'm guessing no, but who knows?

And I actually wanted to say after the last Welcome to the Horizon that that Hovercraft song slaps

Yes! I am SO GLAD they mentioned it was the penultimate episode in the intro because I have gotten very lost.

Tim and I thought it was the season finale, right until Joe said "penultimate." So that was exciting, like we were getting another episode as a treat!

Although now I don't know if there's more Welcome to the Horizon (this season). I'm guessing no, but who knows?

There is not -- there's just the one more episode of Midnight Burger, but I feel like all the Hood's Pocket folks have to still be there, right? Like, this episode has to be Operation Rescue Frank, right? (Spoiler font for Jen.)

And I actually wanted to say after the last Welcome to the Horizon that that Hovercraft song slaps

Motorbike!!! Hovercraft just dropped the hottest single of 2026!

But anyway, I cannot think of a better end to Kroc than the way this episode did it. Poetic, indeed. Joe Fisher, you magnificent bastard.