Maria, it's fine. One, I compartmentalize like whoa and two, wysiwyg with me. Hello, last week? When I ditched when you were already on the damned road? The only way you could be a tool is if you actively ignore my "I can't do this" and you never have. If I truly can't or am approaching it, I'll say so. Both a failing (can be incredibly socially awkward and unpopular) and a strength (know your limits.)
It's one of those things where I have to Really Pay Attention to the unspoken signals from people, because I will take you at your words and totally miss the negative indications because of how I am. And have to remind myself, with a couple of friends in meatspace to not get testy with their multiple 'are you sure? Really, I can...'after I state my position. I meant what I said! Verbatim! But others take different approaches, for various reasons.
Fuck, you guys. My brother's wife had to go out of town yesterday for work (WAY out of town, as in, Myanmar), and I talked to him yesterday afternoon. Today one of his buddies from school posted on FB that he hadn't heard from Jeff in 24 hours and was really worried about him.
That set my parents and other extended family off, and everyone was calling everyone else to see who had talked to my brother and when. And we had all (obviously) called my brother's cell phone tonight and got voice mail.
In the midst of all this, my brother texted me "I have sleep. Cops were fun." So at least I know he's alive, but it freaks me out. I text back and ask him to call me. He replies "Just please let me sleep." So I figure, well, he's not in jail, because you don't get to keep your iPhone in jail.
Then he texts "Please tell her parents that I am not" -- that was it. So I get SUPER worried that this is about his wife. And I replied that I was REALLY worried and can he PLEASE call me.
He did call, and we talked for about 2 minutes. The friend who posted on FB called the cops to do a welfare check on him, and they woke him up (he said he had only slept 30 minutes last night, so he was trying to sleep today). He asked me to call our parents and tell them he was okay (I think that was what the "tell her parents" text was -- I think he was dictating to Siri and "her" came out instead of "our") but he really needed to sleep.
His buddy from FB messaged me and told me that the cops said Jeff was HAMMERED when they checked on him and they really wanted to take him to a non-lockdown detox facility in Boulder, but he was eloquent enough to refuse a blood alcohol test (the curse of our family -- we are eloquent drunks), so they couldn't take him.
DAMN IT. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I wish they would have taken him to detox. This is not good. His wife is in fucking Myanmar until next week, possibly Thursday. This is really not good.
I might need to go out there. Frontier flies out of CVG, and I can get a cheap flight.
Did I mention? I don't think I did -- he withdrew from grad school because of all the stuff he's going through, which is probably a good idea. But the only friends he has out there are his classmates, and they are -- for real -- leaving tomorrow for a 2-week silent retreat in the mountains and they can't have cell phones or computers so they won't even be able to contact him.
I'm going to have to go out there. His wife is out of the country, his friends are going to be literally incommunicado, *maybe* my mom could go, but -- I think it's going to have to be me. I think I can swing it with work.
I hate to say it, Steph, but I think it might be a good idea. It's going to be very very difficult though. What kind of resources do you have to back you up?
Ah, fuck, Steph. Would it help if your mom also went?
Oof, steph, I'm glad at least he's got multiple people in touch with his situation who know when shit's Not Right. I hope he can get, and accepts, whatever help he needs asap.
And, yeah, it sounds like he needs you now.
Timelies all!
At Boskone. The train trip went well.(other than the wi-fi being very weak, so I couldn't log on to anything.) Waiting for the hotel to deliver a crib, so we can put the little guy to bed.
I hate to say it, Steph, but I think it might be a good idea. It's going to be very very difficult though. What kind of resources do you have to back you up?
Well, my mom might be able to go. But I don't actually know that. (She retired, and then about 2 weeks later took a part-time job that expanded to be not quite full time but still a lot of hours.) But for her kid who's in dire straits, she would probably be able to take off work with no notice. I'm not sure.
Ah, fuck, Steph. Would it help if your mom also went?
I honestly think she would be better by herself than me, because while I would do anything for my brother, I'm also a softie, and he knows it, and I think he would pull all kinds of shenanigans, like hiding bottles and such. Mom would not EVEN put up with that. She'd be concerned and loving, but also wouldn't be having any of his shit.
But I'd go with her if she wanted me to, or go by myself if she can't. Put it this way: by tomorrow, one or both us us will have a plane ticket booked for Sunday.
