Timelies all!

At Boskone. The train trip went well.(other than the wi-fi being very weak, so I couldn't log on to anything.) Waiting for the hotel to deliver a crib, so we can put the little guy to bed.

I hate to say it, Steph, but I think it might be a good idea. It's going to be very very difficult though. What kind of resources do you have to back you up?

Well, my mom might be able to go. But I don't actually know that. (She retired, and then about 2 weeks later took a part-time job that expanded to be not quite full time but still a lot of hours.) But for her kid who's in dire straits, she would probably be able to take off work with no notice. I'm not sure.

Ah, fuck, Steph. Would it help if your mom also went?

I honestly think she would be better by herself than me, because while I would do anything for my brother, I'm also a softie, and he knows it, and I think he would pull all kinds of shenanigans, like hiding bottles and such. Mom would not EVEN put up with that. She'd be concerned and loving, but also wouldn't be having any of his shit.

But I'd go with her if she wanted me to, or go by myself if she can't. Put it this way: by tomorrow, one or both us us will have a plane ticket booked for Sunday.

Oh, fuck, Steph, that's bad. Much ~ma for both of you.

Man, Tep. Good luck. My dad used to use shit-talking someone as a kind of bonding between us.We don't talk as much since I don't want to do that anymore. Probably he and my brother talk smack about me now.

Oh Steph, I'm sorry, I know this is tough. You are a wonderful sister.

Oh, Steph. You're all in my thoughts.

I'm going to have to take Ativan to sleep tonight.

And man, Tim and I went out for such a good belated anniversary dinner tonight (he was sick last week on our actual anniversary). Truffle poutine with duck bacon (HOLY SHIT SO GOOD), salmon with roasted brussels sprouts and cauliflower puree, one amazing glass of bone dry champagne, and espresso creme brulee. OH LORD SO GOOD.

Right as we were paying the bill, my cell phone rang and all hell broke loose. At least we got to enjoy dinner.

Take care of yourself, too, Steph. I mean it. If you need us to be your unenabling watchdog guardians, say the word.

Oh Steph, I'm sorry, I know this is tough. You are a wonderful sister.

This. I'm sorry.

I just want this to not be happening. (Caps lock was on when I started to type, and that about sums up about how emphatically I feel about this.)

I know that I don't get to have that be true, but I still want it.

Although, you guys, while the whole family was calling back and forth trying to figure out who had talked to my brother most recently, I really was DEEPLY scared he was dead. I just...refused to really let that idea in. I was super calm and busy sassing my parents and telling them to chill out and not worry, even while my lizard brain was throwing up from worry.