Fuck cancer in the ear.

Yesterday's memorial was both wonderful and ponderous. There were many speakers who hadn't prepared a speech, so they fumbled through what they wanted to say, drawing out any story they came upon. While other speakers had well prepared comments that really spoke to the woman we were honoring. My father was one of the speakers as was Nancy Pelosi. I fully expected her to give her portion of the program and then leave. But she stayed for the 3 plus hours of speaking and then for a good part of the reception following.

I fell apart during one of the speeches as it brought back my mother's death and she was great friends with Patty though they grew apart after my parent's divorce. I also mourned that we didn't have a memorial for my mom. She didn't want one, though really, memorials are for those of us left behind. Thankfully I was sitting with a cousin who provided sweet comfort.

And another round of FUCK CANCER.

I'm so sorry, meara. Glad you got to see her!

I don't even have Cheerios. I gave him a bunch of Gingerbread treats but he is not having that. Whether that is because it is NotFood, or maybe they got stale (hard to imagine him turning up his nose at stale cookies) or if he thinks gingerbread is not the right flavour for February I can't tell. I gave him cat food last night which he was pretty happy with, but that is running low, too. This recurring purchase thing is great for the cans that I ration out, but a bit imprecise for the dry stuff that they free feed on. It seems like I either have way too much or the cupboard is bare, somehow.

That sounds really nice, Suzi. For being inherently sad.

That sounds suboptimal. Hope you all made it back to sleep.

TCG fell right back to sleep as soon as we figured out how to shut off the alarm option, ltc fell back to sleep after I fed her, but I was up for a while with my heart racing. ltc slept through the rest of the night after that.

Suzi, I feel like I never really said how sorry I am for your loss.

And you too, meara. Fucking cancer.

So much loss. Hugs to everyone.

ION had a spot frozen off my face this morning. That hurt.

Also not real pleased with this whole "it's Monday" thing and having to be at work.

I started letting Sylvester the cat come into the back of the house at night once Oz passed since Sylvester was never the carpet pee-er, but my sleep has been so much worse, he sometimes wakes me up in the night and then every morning starting about 5:30am. I think he may have to get chased back up in the kitchen. Or at the very least I will start closing him in there after the early morning wake up.

It's Monday and the first of the month, which makes it like Monday-squared.

Rebecca, I know it has taken me a while to get used to a cat coming in and out of the bedroom, but I have gotten used to it. Now I only wake up when I am trapped under Hazel and want to change positions! Anyway.

ION, my eating plan is working very well so far! I was afraid my lunch wasn't enough, but it is plenty. Also I have a snack if that turns out not to be true.

I called my boss and told him I wasn't coming in this morning due to the dreadful snowstorm that hit, as usual, during rush hour. It's still snowing lightly, and I kind of said I'd be in this afternoon but not to hold their breaths. It was dueling panic attacks, my terror of driving in this muck and my horror of calling in to say I wouldn't be in. I always feel so guilty taking time off without more warning--especially on a Monday. They always give me such disappointed/disapproving noises when I take the option of not coming in. I have the time, I'm allowed to do this! And staying off the road is a reasonable thing. I hate guilt-inducing bosses.