I don't actually think I'm paid too little for the quantity and difficulty of my work most of the time. But replacing me would require the term-of-project hiring of several people with different skillsets. I deal with designers who are more creative than I am, who are more detail-oriented/technically adept than I am, and illustrators that paint better than I do (although I can match the best I've encountered at drawing), but no one who can can do all the above as well.

When I got this job, my BFF told me to start out slow and not give people expectations that I could do a super human amount of work. It has sort of worked out.

That's the first rule of temping. My first several jobs I lost a whole week of work by completing all the tasks in two days.

You learn the work, find out what they consider a normal pace and you make damn sure the week assignment you got lasts the whole week.

I don't actually think I'm paid too little for the quantity and difficulty of my work most of the time.

Years ago, I felt I was well-paid. Now, I'm feeling like I should be making a bit more. Once I found out what the top of my salary band is, I figured I knew about how fast my salary was going to rise over the rest of my career here. It shot up quickly the first five years then the raises leveled off, and now it's creeping up. They want to make sure they have room to keep giving me "just enough to keep me" raises if I stay until I retire, without having to promote me (there's nowhere for me to go anyway). No matter how well I do, I suspect there's an unspoken upper limit.

You know how we always feel like there must be a German word for something, when we're grasping for a way to describe it? There's got to be a French word for being vaguely dissatisfied and wanting things to change, while at the same time not wanting to actually go through the process of change.

There also needs to be a word for the mythical third-option-that-doesn't exist. Like, your choices are (1) buy an inexpensive used car that doesn't have all the bells and whistles you'd prefer to have, and don't take on more debt, or (2) buy a new car out of your price range and get all the bells and whistles but also get more debt. There is no mythical option 3 where there is a new car with all the bells and whistles that is ALSO in your price range, so you don't take on more debt.

I mean, it could just be called "Option 3," as in "Used car and no debt, or new car and debt -- there is no Option 3!", but it seems like it needs a fancier word.

Fuck capitalism, y'all.

In a nutshell. That

I've gotten the max raise every year that I've been here. 3%. And the company is generally struggling financially, it's understandable in the short-term, but I doubt that I will ever get a massive raise that will make up for what I think I should have been making all along. Unless I get promoted, I suppose, but that would mean even higher expectations. Bah.

I am so irritated at everything today.

Remember how my boss told me yesterday that 2 of the 4 things I'd been trying to get together for this deadline (today) weren't actually necessary? Today she told me that none of them were. As long as all the papers and the index are posted, it's fine! And that was done earlier in the month, so... yeah. The deadline was a mirage. Also, she's been back in the States for a week and didn't tell me.

I used to think "Dilbert" was just a funny cartoon. I didn't realize it was a documentary.

Okay, I'll stop ranting and whining about work now. I just needed to share with people who understand.

There's got to be a French word for being vaguely dissatisfied and wanting things to change, while at the same time not wanting to actually go through the process of change.

I might get that word tattooed on my ankle. It me.

Pretty sure at my job the team has gotten 3% overall for raises, so either the boss can give everyone that, or give someone more and someone less. That seems like some bullshit to me, but what do I know. Although if we were doing it now, it would be an easy call for me, but that's because the performance on my team right has a wild range. I can't decide what to do about the one who keeps falling asleep in meetings, including one meeting with MY boss IMMEDIATELY AFTER a review where we discussed how she has to stay awake in meetings.

ION, I just got an email from a chorus I used to sing with about an opportunity to sing at Carnegie Hall. It costs $750 just to be in the concert! You still have to figure out transportation and accommodations! Dana, have you ever heard of something like this?

(I hate the whole concept of stretch goals. Fuck you, I'm stretching to my limit just to keep up with my actual work. Why isn't doing my job well enough to get a decent raise? Projects I'm actually meant to do outside of normal work hours, that affect my raise? that's BS.)

Heh. In the old company, doing your job well wasn't even enough to get you a decent review depending on how they needed to stack rank.

I mean, just fuck it all, you know? There's no winning for most of us. Just surviving. Those who thrive are the bullshitters and the networkers.

I'm having a bad career funk bleh, though. So, hey.