Fuck capitalism, y'all.

In a nutshell. That

I've gotten the max raise every year that I've been here. 3%. And the company is generally struggling financially, it's understandable in the short-term, but I doubt that I will ever get a massive raise that will make up for what I think I should have been making all along. Unless I get promoted, I suppose, but that would mean even higher expectations. Bah.

I am so irritated at everything today.

Remember how my boss told me yesterday that 2 of the 4 things I'd been trying to get together for this deadline (today) weren't actually necessary? Today she told me that none of them were. As long as all the papers and the index are posted, it's fine! And that was done earlier in the month, so... yeah. The deadline was a mirage. Also, she's been back in the States for a week and didn't tell me.

I used to think "Dilbert" was just a funny cartoon. I didn't realize it was a documentary.

Okay, I'll stop ranting and whining about work now. I just needed to share with people who understand.

There's got to be a French word for being vaguely dissatisfied and wanting things to change, while at the same time not wanting to actually go through the process of change.

I might get that word tattooed on my ankle. It me.

Pretty sure at my job the team has gotten 3% overall for raises, so either the boss can give everyone that, or give someone more and someone less. That seems like some bullshit to me, but what do I know. Although if we were doing it now, it would be an easy call for me, but that's because the performance on my team right has a wild range. I can't decide what to do about the one who keeps falling asleep in meetings, including one meeting with MY boss IMMEDIATELY AFTER a review where we discussed how she has to stay awake in meetings.

ION, I just got an email from a chorus I used to sing with about an opportunity to sing at Carnegie Hall. It costs $750 just to be in the concert! You still have to figure out transportation and accommodations! Dana, have you ever heard of something like this?

(I hate the whole concept of stretch goals. Fuck you, I'm stretching to my limit just to keep up with my actual work. Why isn't doing my job well enough to get a decent raise? Projects I'm actually meant to do outside of normal work hours, that affect my raise? that's BS.)

Heh. In the old company, doing your job well wasn't even enough to get you a decent review depending on how they needed to stack rank.

I mean, just fuck it all, you know? There's no winning for most of us. Just surviving. Those who thrive are the bullshitters and the networkers.

I'm having a bad career funk bleh, though. So, hey.

And if you meet your stretch goals, that becomes the new "normal."

Yes. I'm meeting expectations, which means I'm not trying hard enough.

I think I have wrangled everything that I need to. It may be time for me to hit Trader Joe's.

When we do reviews, my supervisor always has a disgruntled expression when my ratings are Meets Expectations. I've been told I'm not ambitious enough, and they're boggled that a few extra dollars a month is not sufficient to make me stress myself. I've made no secret of the fact that I'd like to try another department, so I think they've accepted that I'm not just a lump skating by--though why the idea of doing the job to the requested standards for the agreed-upon wage is disappointing.

Unfortunately, I'm probably near the top of my pay band, being I've been there ten years. That's another thing that annoys me. It encourages people with experience to abandon the job.

IO economic News, I did my taxes today. A thousand back from the feds, owing three hundred to the state. I should have the federal money back just in time for my vacation, and I can put off paying the state till April.

Timelies all!

No plans for the weekend here. How about you?

ION, I just got an email from a chorus I used to sing with about an opportunity to sing at Carnegie Hall. It costs $750 just to be in the concert! You still have to figure out transportation and accommodations! Dana, have you ever heard of something like this?

Is it with Mid-America? I've done Carnegie Hall stuff, and my mother conducts for them every few years. I thought they usually did a package, though. Maybe because you're relatively close to the city? It doesn't get you any meals, or a post-concert cruise or anything?

In hindsight, going outside this inclement afternoon probably was not my best idea ever.