It helps me to remember I'm not the only one with these sorts of problems (or these exact problems, even) - that all the rest of the women in the world aren't meeting the impossible standard I hold up for myself either (my sister).
For the first time, I'm really realizing how much the media/societal pressure has shaped my perspective on stuff ... which leads to that impossible standard.
Such as, this guy I want to meet in person -- I keep feeling like I have to warn him ahead of time that my body isn't perfect, that it's not a 20-year-old's, etc.
And then I step back and realize HOW INSANE THAT IS.
I feel like half the time I am "Fuck the system! Fuck you, world! I can totally exist and be what I am!" And then the other half, it's "Don't look at me, don't even talk to me, I would have done better to have just stayed in bed."
Yeah. And sometimes I end up with "Fuck you, world, I'm staying in bed"
I'm already dreading work tomorrow. Maybe after this week, things will get easier. Of course, I've been saying that for about seven years.
Inebriated me should never be messaging with my boss.
Boss: you too! admin leave tomorrow so hopefully you can watch for leaks and find none!
Me: Yeah but, csunspeakable doesn't give us that. So I either work or burn my sick/vacay meager time. Another bitter point.
... your boss told you to take leave that you don't get? Well, that's just great.
Oy.
Sent the email I needed to send, now to pack up my cake and a bottle of wine & hit the road. Because I will absolutely need wine in order to watch The X-Files...
She was unaware of the fine details.
I'll work poorly and possibly spend most of it shoveling roofs, napping and charging it to csfuckover. I've got that many fucks left. TRY ME.
STScI gets an exemplary coworker. Csfuckover gets an asshole.
Be warned there is a playoff game on so unless they preempt the post game show X-Files may start late.
I've felt okay the past couple days, but the aches are now starting. Thank god the y is opening at noon. I WILL be swimming, and then sauna.