Looks pretty standard on the outside, but...

Wow.

I think I may, when I inevitably overhaul my clothing storage system, set aside a drawer for worn-but-not-laundry clothes, so they aren't back in with the truly clean but aren't just out being cat beds either. That might work for me. I am finding hanging things on hooks to be problematic lately.

I have just not been able to stay awake for very long at a time today. It's not good. I don't know how I'm going to assemble clean clothes and lunches to get through the week.

It helps me to remember I'm not the only one with these sorts of problems

Oh, man. I have been super hard on myself this weekend for no good reason. I don't even know what impossible standard I'm failing at! Maybe the moon is in foo.

Zenkitty, insent to your profile address.

The whole laundry situation is just too depressing at the moment. ltc inevitable spits up on herself and/or on me twice a day, generating a ridiculous amount of laundry. Which almost never makes it back into drawers and closets before it is worn again. I reorganized her dresser last weekend, but I still have to do her closet and then all of my clothes. And then every couple of months or so she grows out of everything. So all the old stuff needs to go somewhere and all the next size (much of it inherited from my niece) needs to be washed to replace it. Whatever my cousin washed niece's clothes with smells terrible, and I'm allergic to it. So, everything inevitable needs to be washed and dried 3 times before I can let ltc wear it.

I was tired of putting clothes on top of the waist high bookcases in my bedroom because they didn't really fit in the dressers (and I'm not quite ready to get rid of a bunch of stuff, though I should). So I got some under-bed storage bins.

Now I have clothes on the bookcase and empty bins by the closet.

Eh, no blood, no foul.

It helps me to remember I'm not the only one with these sorts of problems (or these exact problems, even) - that all the rest of the women in the world aren't meeting the impossible standard I hold up for myself either (my sister).

For the first time, I'm really realizing how much the media/societal pressure has shaped my perspective on stuff ... which leads to that impossible standard.

Such as, this guy I want to meet in person -- I keep feeling like I have to warn him ahead of time that my body isn't perfect, that it's not a 20-year-old's, etc.

And then I step back and realize HOW INSANE THAT IS.

I feel like half the time I am "Fuck the system! Fuck you, world! I can totally exist and be what I am!" And then the other half, it's "Don't look at me, don't even talk to me, I would have done better to have just stayed in bed."

Yeah. And sometimes I end up with "Fuck you, world, I'm staying in bed"

I'm already dreading work tomorrow. Maybe after this week, things will get easier. Of course, I've been saying that for about seven years.

Inebriated me should never be messaging with my boss.

Boss: you too! admin leave tomorrow so hopefully you can watch for leaks and find none!

Me: Yeah but, csunspeakable doesn't give us that. So I either work or burn my sick/vacay meager time. Another bitter point.

... your boss told you to take leave that you don't get? Well, that's just great.

Oy.

Sent the email I needed to send, now to pack up my cake and a bottle of wine & hit the road. Because I will absolutely need wine in order to watch The X-Files...