Oh my god, this is the week of the GIANT asshole authors from hell. Our journal style is that titles -- even of editorials -- have to be scientific and informative and contain key points of the article. (I know other journals allow leeway for editorials to have wacky or funny titles, but we don't. It is what it is.)

So I have an author with an editorial about diagnosing dementia, and he titled it "To Dement or Not to Dement: That Is the Question." First of all, we don't use "dement" as a verb. Second, I told the author what our style is, and asked him to provide an alternate title.

He replied, "I must say that I really like the title as it was written and I am reluctant to change it, as this is the whole reason I wrote this article." [ED: Seriously? The WHOLE reason??? That's a shitty reason to write an article, you ASS.]

I replied very politely and reiterated what our journal style is, and said unfortunately, the title does not meet our style, and asked him to please provide another title.

He didn't reply to me; he emailed the editor-in-chief of the journal (way above even the people I have direct contact with) AND COPIED ME so I knew he was being a dick about it, and said (including the emoticon, so professional): "Sorry to bother you with this rather silly point. The copyright department want to change the title of the editorial ("To dement or not to dement, that is the question"). I fear that this would make the piece rather pedestrian in nature, dragging it back to the mean. However, I don’t want a big todo over this and I’m happy to do whatever you say. :-)"

Oh HELL NO, son. HELL NO. What IS it with these fucking authors this week? Just follow our style and everything will be fine, YOU DICK. (And where did you get the idea we're the "copyright department"? Your credibility is at absolute zero now, you shitbag.)

I honestly expect the EIC will say we should just leave the title as is so the author doesn't get his delicate fee-fees hurt any more. But I forwarded the email to my coordinator because I told her I wanted her to be in the loop. I did not include any personal assessment of the author's parentage or general shitbaggery, because I didn't want THAT to get forwarded to anyone else.

Alla y'all in academic publishing, on the author side: NEVER DO THIS SHIT. We hate you when you pull this diva shit. HAAAAAAATE.

The copyright department

I wonder if he meant "copywriter". Which wouldn't be right either, I guess.

It's just SO fucking petty. And I am equally petty in that I want the EIC to tell him to fuck himself and change the title.

I need Advil and chocolate.

Interview went well, he said. Now I have to research Oklahoma City to decide if we would be willing to live there, provided he gets another interview.

That's insane, Teppy.

Dana, I hope your DH's interview went well.

I have eaten a piece of chocolate and taken ibuprofen. Now I need to see if I can smite this author long-distance.

I hate when supervisors cave in like pussies and say "Do what the customer wants, we don't want them angry" when said items is explicitly against policy and now said customer will tell all his friends "Bitch about it enough and they'll cave."

ION, I just realized that if the company bigwigs knew what kind of conversations go on on Ravelry that that whole site would be behind a block immediately.

edit: "But it's just a bunch of nice little ladies talking about knitting, how much more wholesome can you get?" Dude, never listen to the nice little ladies chatting together over their knitting.

I think ltc is hitting her 6 month growth spurt early. This afternoon has been a constant cycle of feeding and diaper changes.

I hate when supervisors cave in like pussies and say "Do what the customer wants, we don't want them angry" when said items is explicitly against policy and now said customer will tell all his friends "Bitch about it enough and they'll cave."

The way it plays out for us is that the author who whines loudly enough about his precious baby words staying exactly the way he wrote them gets stuff into print (and on the website) that doesn't adhere to our style. So then the NEXT time some whiny author has his fee-fees hurt because we have the audacity to suggest his paper should adhere to our style, he can point to the first one, now published, and say "But you did it befooooooooore, so you haaaaaaaaaaave to do it for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Bah.

Buffista Island!

My first thought was "Yes, please!" when I saw that porch. Fair point about the water levels though.

That outfit would be great for a Victor/Victoria costume.