I'll take a look, Jesse!

Gud, it is paid, the water is back on, the credit will cover the next month. As meara mentioned, maybe look at online bill pay. I know I've done that before, missing a bill, sending it late, and still getting shut off. It happens.

I was about to fuss that I hadn't heard from CJ and he just texted. The issue is superficial, so no lancing, no surgery, just antibotics. Maybe now my headache will go away.

I don't want to sound dismissive of your feelings, Gud, but I think what you do is let yourself off the hook. There's a reason we all keep giving ourselves gold stars for successfully adulting - there are a million little things to remember and take care of, and it feels like a major victory when you manage all of them successfully. And sometimes one falls through the cracks. Happens to all of us. But you figured it out, fixed the problem, no one came to any harm. So acknowledge that you made an error, promise yourself you'll do better next time, and let yourself off the hook.

Auto-pay saved my life. Or my credit, at least.

Gud, I know it's hard, but I vote giving yourself a break for the moment.

I'll take a look, Jesse!

Send me your address, and it's all yours.

I can't believe I fucked up that badly. I honestly don't know how I recover from this. I have no idea what to do.

I agree with letting yourself off the hook. The bill got paid and the water is on. I guess I'm curious why you think this is something you don't know how to recover from?

It's just that there's nothing I can do to undo it, and my wife will be angry for I don't know how long, and I have to get other things done knowing I've made this huge mistake and could make more huge mistakes. I have a very hard time dealing with failures. Little mistakes I can get by, but bigger mistakes make things blow up and I can't afford to make them.

It's just that there's nothing I can do to undo it

Yeah, but you fixed it. It's paid and the water is on.

my wife will be angry for I don't know how long

That does sound like a problem, but, in my opinion, having more than a "What? SHIT!!! What the HELL?" in the moment seems like an overreaction (see above, re: bill is paid and the water is now on, so continuing anger is pointless).

But I understand that you have to live with the reality of how your wife chooses to react, and that sucks if it's an ongoing anger.

bigger mistakes make things blow up

But this didn't make anything blow up (I know you mean that metaphorically, not literally). The bill is paid and the water is back on.

I just don't think you're in danger of burning down the house, harming anyone, or blowing the family savings on a sportscar. And I'm not saying that to make light of missing the water bill; I'm saying it because I just don't think there are too many mistakes that have catastrophic consequences, and you are not at all likely to make the ones that exist.

Casper reports from 7th grade that everyone was so sad about Snape today.

Apologies for not coming in sooner to spill. I've been laid up with a nasty cold the last few days, and so I slept in quite a bit today, and then had to run around taking care of some errands. And now I think it's back to bed.

But first...

Yeah, so I got married back on January 1st, out in Denver. Colorado allows you to self-officiate, so we did. Because of the divorce from the father of her child, she is stuck in Denver for the time being. But it looks like I'll be moving to Denver later this year.

We're hopeful that, as her daughter gets older, and gets more of a say in who she stays with, we can move back to LA (I do miss my city).

could make more huge mistakes.

Oh, god, yes, the sudden questioning. "If I could screw this up, am I really doing all this other stuff right? Did I mess it up while I was so proud of myself for getting it done?" This leads me to much staring at text, wondering if what I'm seeing is really correct or if I'm just hallucinating that the words/figures are right.

And the horror of the spousal upset. I know that, too. Hubby was not an easy man in some situations. He always seemed so shocked when I made a mistake, like his own worldview depended on me being infallible. Bizarrely appealing, but no way for two grown-ups to function.