Omg this week.

Yup.

Kat, I hope yer not really sick.

Yeah. I think I am. My friend Beth tells me, though, I should keep working out because working out may stave off colds. I feel like shit and I've been up since 3:00 AM and I'm just generally not that into this illness.

omg. this week. this month. I want to ragequit everything but there's nowhere to go.

I have had betterish results keeping swimming with everything but the stomach bug (that left me unable to move and sleeping on the bathroom floor.) At least swimming I feel moderately better. I go back to daid after. I've had bugs where I was vertical for basically the time it took to go swim.

And huh. I guess I ragehypotheticalquit today. And it felt good. I heard things I wasn't expecting, in the best sense ever. "Won't let you leave." "Person X(who is waaaay up food chain) specifically asked if you were on my shortlist." (Shortlist being those they go hell/high water for. I'm in.) Not going to rest on laurels, but it was a boost I sorely needed.

sarameg, that's great to hear. Good for your life, good for your soul.

It was/is really scary. But I recognized my line and threw down, fully ready to do a full walk. I'm just really lucky with the people I actually do work for and that they don't want that.

(I keep wanting to add caveats in case they disappoint. I don't expect them to, but that's my nature. If they do, it'll pretty much destroy all the reasons I don't want to leave, so walking will be easy. Once I find a new job, of course.)

Here’s a good, old fashioned meara

I am so tired and not so interested in working. I can't believe Christmas is next week!

me too, only cross off ‘working’ and sub in ‘everything’

Poor, Franny. I'm almost afraid to ask how old she is now.

She’s 12 now. And FTR she did not make it to school today much less the dance. Her headache didn’t abate until sometime after 3.

I would tell you all how often Jane is still waking up at night, but I might start to cry, so perhaps best if I don't let myself think about it too much.

I don’t know if I talked about it here, but for a while there little newborn Franny would have slept through the night but she wasn’t keeping her weight up, so I had to set my alarm to wake me every 2 hours to feed her. And then a month later, I reset it to every 3 hours, and then a month after that, every 4. She mostly slept through it all, as did her father, while I slowly became a wreck.

Good for you, sarameg, it's been hard watching you be so unhappy about work for so long.

Ugh, on parenting detail I had to make an effortful pumpkin cookie recipe that Matilda had copied down from somewhere. I was dubious but I indulged her. Made the first batch. Rather Meh. Made the second bath after doing everything I could to adulterate and improve the recipe. Still meh. Much effort for boring cookies that nobody will eat tomorrow. Bah.

Why didn't she let me make good cookies?!

Thank you all, for putting up with my complaints and validating them.

Still gotta be patient but I hope things are gonna change and my managers are really going to fix things for me like they said.

I've got contingency plans if they don't.

Kat, they have to tear out the entire middle of our house and install a new bathroom. We will get official lab results tomorrow or Monday, but it's at least four kinds of mold, most likely at least one toxic variety.