Clown minister mom definitely wins the wtf competition for me.

Sara, best of luck. Your work/contract frustration has been awful for years!

I am suddenly wanting to bake All The Cookies. Maybe because I don't want to do All The Work? I'm only home a few more days so I wouldn't even have time to eat them BUT they'd be too stale to bring to my sisters house. Hm.

I have gone shopping! Not sure how I'm fitting everything in my suitcase, but that's a Future Me problem. Other than something I need to order on Amazon, I should be done with Christmas shopping. Any shopping I do after this will be purely selfish.

I've ordered room service, so once I eat, my remaining task is writing.

Went to a party last night, and I had to flee after an hour.

I don't know why people think parties are the best. Fleeing after an hour is usually what I do.

Also had a dream about Chris Hemsworth breaking up with me. No fair, subconscious, making me go through that without first dreaming about sex with Chris Hemsworth!

Unfair!

One time, I had a dream where I was the Denisof/Hannigan marriage therapist. What the fuck, subconscious? (It was such a boring dream. My subconscious apparently only ever gives me gross and icky sex dreams, never good ones.)

I rarely have sex dreams, but when I do they kinda' annoy me. I end up thinking, "This should feel really good, but it doesn't."

I just realized that I will be in Vegas in two months, which means I need to go swimsuit shopping. I'm wanting a tankini type thing, and I'm braving the mall tomorrow to see what might be immediately available. What/who do my people recommend for fat woman swimsuits?

People in my office are just going to keep doling out leftover Halloween candy for months.

My coworker mentioned today that her husband believes men are discriminated against. And I have a relative on FB who's incensed that the New Orleans City Council voted to take down four statues of Confederate leaders.

My mother just asked me, "Are Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker both from Star Wars? Are they related to each other?" I'm not sure whether to answer her or go get the DVDs and make her watch the movies.

Jus don't tell her about Darth Vader being divinely conceived.

What/who do my people recommend for fat woman swimsuits?

At this time of year, your best bet may be in a large department store. (That's just a guess; I've bought my swimsuits online for the past many years.)

My coworker mentioned today that her husband believes men are discriminated against.

HA. HA. HA. HA.