Oy, universe, ease up on my peeps!
I can relate, flea, for sure. A few months ago, my sister emailed me this woeful email saying, basically, it feels like maybe something happened two years ago and you haven't been as close to me since. And I was all, yeah, you're not reading that wrong, but what happened was I nearly died from carrying every single person in the universe's emotional burdens and you're pretty stable, so I didn't need to carry yours too.
We went to visit them and my folks (in houses next to each other!) in Dallas over Thanksgiving and it was both great and super weird. But they both seem happy about the other family being there, so that's good. My nephew comes over to play games with my dad all the time, and my niece is teenagery but friendly, so my mom is grandmother leveled up happy.
I was talking to one of my friends in Nashville during our couple of days there, and they were asking, did it make us want to move there too since the rest of my family was there, and I was all, uhh, don't take this the wrong way, but now that my dad is taken care of by being next door to my sister, I have zero interest in moving to Dallas! I'm really glad they're set up there, but now it means that I no longer need to structure my life in such a way that makes me a primary caregiver. I would have happily done it, no problem, but now that I don't have to? I'm going to build the life I want.