If your tetanus boosters are up to date and the weapon of choice was trustworthily clean and the bleeding stopped, I don't know if the requirement is medical treatment, but you're not going to die of too much doctoring in this regard.

Speaking of things you can injure yourself with, I literally only just now realised those aren't cake forks, those are salad forks.

I don't think any of mine have ever ever been used to eat salad. Lots and lots of cake, but I do extend the metaphor to any dessert that doesn't require a spoon.

Christ, I can't believe I was just grateful AARP told me there are achievements left, because clearly if I don't know how (or why) to set a table, I have a lot to discover.

And I don't know if I need to hold out for an extended version of The Hobbit. SO MUCH POSSIBILITY, SUCH RICH LIFE EXPERIENCES LEFT TO HAVE.

I mentioned I didn't like today, right?

I mentioned I didn't like today, right?

Kitten-fall-off-the-toilet dislike.

Groupon impulse buying update: I have not pulled the trigger on paintball, tea, or wine tasting, but I did get myself a kitchen scale.

Not to be an enabler or anything, but I got a Groupon last fall for paintball against zombies, and it was the bestest!time!evah!

and is yellow like my kitchen.

Zulily tempts me exceedingly with purple kitchen things. I did recently snap and buy a toaster, but it looks like my tea machine which is not purple. Those are my two kitchen directions--brushed steel and purple.

Purple knives! Purple pots! Purple baking tins! But I have only snapped and bought purple towels (and earrings, but they don't count) so far.

I literally only just now realised those aren't cake forks, those are salad forks.

*Is* there such a thing as a cake fork?

I think all of my forks are cake forks by default.

I did recently snap and buy a toaster

Okay, I admit it: I'm pretty stoked to register for wedding gifts. I want a coffeemaker that can also accelerate particles to the speed of light.

Any fork, spork, or other implement can be a cake device.

I kinda want this. [link]

Not to be an enabler or anything, but I got a Groupon last fall for paintball against zombies, and it was the bestest!time!evah!

Hm, my offer does not include zombies. But it seems like a very good price if I could assemble a group of people to do it.

Zulily tempts me exceedingly with purple kitchen things.

I would have gotten purple (I almost always get purple anything if I can) but it was sold out by the time I saw the e-mail. The yellowness of my kitchen is nice and cheery in the morning, though, so I'm good with the consolation color.

I want a coffeemaker that can also accelerate particles to the speed of light.

As long as you are okay with those particles being photons, that's totally achievable.

Mmm, cake. I use my salad forks mostly for salads and my teaspoons largely for tea. Maybe more coffee recently? Way to think inside the box, -t.

Ooh, I want to know what everyone's kitchen accessory colors are! Mine is red. It used to be green, and I am cheap and still use the green towels, so it always looks half-assedly Christmassy.

You are in my thoughts.

Thanks, Drew. It's a journey. We'll see where I end up.

Matt, if you don't want to go to the ER, I'd at least consider Urgent Care in the morning.