I did recently snap and buy a toaster

Okay, I admit it: I'm pretty stoked to register for wedding gifts. I want a coffeemaker that can also accelerate particles to the speed of light.

Any fork, spork, or other implement can be a cake device.

I kinda want this. [link]

Not to be an enabler or anything, but I got a Groupon last fall for paintball against zombies, and it was the bestest!time!evah!

Hm, my offer does not include zombies. But it seems like a very good price if I could assemble a group of people to do it.

Zulily tempts me exceedingly with purple kitchen things.

I would have gotten purple (I almost always get purple anything if I can) but it was sold out by the time I saw the e-mail. The yellowness of my kitchen is nice and cheery in the morning, though, so I'm good with the consolation color.

I want a coffeemaker that can also accelerate particles to the speed of light.

As long as you are okay with those particles being photons, that's totally achievable.

Mmm, cake. I use my salad forks mostly for salads and my teaspoons largely for tea. Maybe more coffee recently? Way to think inside the box, -t.

Ooh, I want to know what everyone's kitchen accessory colors are! Mine is red. It used to be green, and I am cheap and still use the green towels, so it always looks half-assedly Christmassy.

You are in my thoughts.

Thanks, Drew. It's a journey. We'll see where I end up.

Matt, if you don't want to go to the ER, I'd at least consider Urgent Care in the morning.

All forks are cake forks.

If I can't get purple, I go with jewel tones, or least as bright and clear as I can get, maybe a nice fire hydrant red.

But if I had more kitchen and more money, I might go nuts. PURPLE POTS.

Looking at Zulily, for some reason one item just hit home the fact that these aren't (yet) spat out of tireless computers, waxing rhapsodic. So, no. Someone sat down at their desk, looked at a photo of three metal bowls...and had to do something.

In this case something looks like:

These stainless steel bowls are the perfect addition to any well-equipped kitchen. Use them to present your famous sour cream and onion dip in a style befitting the family's secret recipe. Simple but sophisticated, they're a must-have for any culinary expert worth their salt.

Whose tone, to me, is a tacit admission that they're not guying their own schtick, and a hint of "cry for help".

We have definite cake forks at home--one tine is two or three times the width, to make it a better "cutter". From there on in, I assumed that the same small ones without the widened section were cake-aimed as well.

I don't like to eat cake with the big fork (or dinner with the small (or anything for salad)). Propriety--it's not just your friend, it's your friend that comes over with ice cream and awhip.

Stabbing update: my wound doesn't hurt much this morning, and there's no inflammation (it barely looks as bad as a paper cut). I'm going to chalk this one up to luck and having washed the knife in hot water just before cutting into the avocado.

Do you not eat salad, or do you not use utensils for salad?

I bought a set of tiny pots basically because they were purple (they're meant to be a child's learning-to-cook set or maybe for dorm use on an illicit hot plate) but now that I have them I use them all the time. A saucepan that holds 2 cups if I fill it up to the brim is perfect for one serving of a lot of things. And the wee frying pan is great for a single burger, or searing one tuna steak, etc. I actually bought a second mini set (this one every pan/pot a different color, but all clear tones that go with my Fiestaware) because the wee pot came with an insert for poaching one egg, which is kind of awesome now that I am a person who eats poached eggs. The tiny pink square griddle I have not really used much, but it's very cute. And both sets fit into the "warming cupboard" of my fake old-timey cast iron stove, right above the burners at eye level, which is super handy.

Glad to hear it, Matt!