You have cats, Steph. Check under the tables and wherever you might have lain them.

I interrogated the dog. For real. He looks shifty.

I think they might have fallen under the nightstand, which is heavy and dark underneath and wedged in a corner so it's hard to reach a hand under there anyway. I'm going to give it one swipe and then just buy new ones.

At which point the original ones will reappear like magic. BECAUSE THE DOG HAS THEM.

Yep. Which is why today I bought Pumpkin a spare fishbone collar. So the current one will be easier to find when she boots it*.

I actually have a spare security sign given to me by a worried locksmith (I dunno, he wasn't upselling me, just giving me spare signage and tips as if I was his 17 year old daughter in the big city, and he was my age) that I use to do sweeps under the stove and other tight spaces. They work well for that.

• I am generally anti-collar for cats. Unnecessary and problematic for indoors, normally. But for some reason, I'm reassured by the jingle of hers (it has a bell,) cause she's way too stealthy and libel to trip me up. And hell, even as she pulls it off, she seems to like the jingle. I've seen her actually prancing to make it jingle more.

I am watching the same tv show as ita !.

Just noting the fact.

AND ALAN CUMMING DID INTERPRETIVE DANCE.

It's like winning at life.

I think they might have fallen under the nightstand, which is heavy and dark underneath and wedged in a corner so it's hard to reach a hand under there anyway.

That's what the cat's wand toys are for.

So it's a been a big news week at Chez Zmayhem as (a) Emmett has decided to play high school baseball this year after all; and (b) we're getting the car fixed after four months of it sitting under a tree in one of the only places in San Francisco where you can leave your car under a tree and it won't get towed away.

re: cat collars

The only punishment that ever made an impact on Mouse was to take his collar and its bells away. Those bells were part of his voice. He could tip-toe through the house without making a sound, but sometimes he wanted to make a statement, so he jingled his bells. He got into an awful snit when another cat got a bell, so we had to take it off so Mouse was the only belled cat.

Shadow will use his bells to yell at us. Well, at me, because I'm very bad at understanding Cat. He'll stare at me for a couple of minutes, then shake his bell to get my attention.

Maybe I can start wearing all grey!

This is my plan.

Except I have one black and one white cat.

It's not a good plan here.

Except I have one black and one white cat.

We really need to get you into a tuxedo every day.

zebra stripes.

If there's been an epidemic of women kicking innocent men in the balls, I've missed it.

There was actually an epidemic of that in British Columbia a couple years back, but as I recall there was just one woman behind it.