Thankfully for me the holidays are just two big family meals that happen in homes other than my own, so no leftovers to make a significant impact on my weight unless I make a special effort to pack some up. (Of course at Christmas I ate so much beef tenderloin and cheese at the actual dinner I wasn't hungry again until the following night.) I think it was the not getting outside much that encouraged weight gain over the season for me, and I've been able to combat that this year.

Steph- I know that you deleted, but I wanted to say that I hear you.

I'm fat because I'm lazy and I like to eat, and I eat junk. And I'm sort of but not really OK with it. But, as I said, lazy. I still go to the gym, but not as often as a year ago. But at least I'm still going.

Part of my weight is my bad eating habits and lack of exercise, but a lot of it is the medicine. I took Zyprexa for awhile and gained 20 lbs in a few months and never lost that. Since the Seroquel I've pretty much gained enough weight each year that I can't wear most of the things I bought 2 years ago.

One thing that's been surprisingly hard about pregnancy, for me, is trying to control my weight gain. At my last checkup (24 weeks), I had gained around 28-29 pounds. (The recommendation for someone at my BMI pre-pregnancy is to gain 25-35lb in total, and I've got three months to go...) It's been hard for me to figure out if I really need to change my eating habits or not. I feel like I eat pretty healthy food in pretty reasonable proportions -- more than I did before getting pregnant, of course, but I haven't gone crazy with it. I'm just so HUNGRY all the time, and so I eat more. But doesn't my body need it? I know I shouldn't get hung up on a number, but I feel like I must be doing something wrong if I've gained so much weight. And I hate feeling that way: like I'm messing up something important, like I can't trust my body's signals, AND feeling angry about thinking about my weight gain as a moral issue, when I know it's really not.

Okay, I complained to one of my Indian co-workers about them always talking in Hindi, and he was totally okay with it. I did kinda choose to say that to the American citizen Indian guy. He explained that he tries to encourage them all to speak English more consistently, but it's an uphill battle.

Of course, because he's the one that torments me, he's randomly throwing my name into Hindi conversations now, and to be extra clear, he's saying "lower cased 'i' ita" and then more Hindi. Pfft. I now have threats to ensconce his name in Patois or French. Except neither of those are ever ever going to happen.

It's been hard for me to figure out if I really need to change my eating habits or not.

You don't. If you're hungry all the time, you should eat all the time.

And I hate feeling that way: like I'm messing up something important, like I can't trust my body's signals, AND feeling angry about thinking about my weight gain as a moral issue, when I know it's really not.

This pregnancy, I struggled to gain weight. But I really think you need to trust your body while pregnant. You are the only one that has to deal with the weight post-partum, not your dr. etc. And if your are hungry, your body is telling you something.

Thanks, Jessica & Stephanie. Some days I really need that validation! It's also a matter of finding out which foods will fill me up, so I'm making the best use of each meal. (Most fruits & vegetables, though I try to eat good quantities of them, seem to evaporate almost immediately.) I go to bed hungry almost every night, despite having a sizeable late snack/second dinner most nights. Weirdly, I often don't feel truly hungry in the mornings, but in the evenings I'm a bottomless pit.

I should note, too, that the midwife wasn't too concerned about my weight gain -- this is almost entirely coming from me (and those damn pregnancy books). She did say my weight might affect how big the baby is when it's born, but again, she didn't seem to think I was at risk of delivering a twelve-pounder or anything.

What they said, Kate. If you're hungry, eat. And if you're eating a lot of healthy food, even better.

Also? That might change in the last trimester, when your stomach can get a little squeezed by the baby. I always found it hard to eat a full meal then, because there was just no room.