I believe I have finished all my wrapping for Christmas. I think I've found all the prezzies I had hidden in my room.

The snow has started - we are expecting 8-12 inches tonight/tomorrow. This is on top of the snow that fell on Monday. The roads have just finally gotten clear and now we get another dump of snow. I'm very happy I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow.

I've always dreamt of living in a barn.

Like, I have dreams in which I live in a barn, not that it's an aspiration. But it could work for me, is what I'm saying. With camels or not.

Eta: but I like the panelling, so, problems.

Like, I have dreams in which I live in a barn, not that it's an aspiration. But it could work for me, is what I'm saying. With camels or not.

Alpacas! And you could keep your bees.

Sure!

I'm fair certain she never looks at the damn thing anyway.

Our CIO reads ours with a fine tooth comb and comes back with questions just about every week. This week, with consultants in from the content management company, she wants *daily* status reports. Motherfucker. And she's reading them. And my boss is reading them. And my manager is reading them.

I'm glad my boss thinks I did a good consultant wrangling job. I had a great time. I vibed really well with both consultants. We could be really casual around each other, and formed a team very quickly, and were able to focus on shared goals with only one unshared conclusion over the three days, which is pretty remarkable in my experience with technical folks with different backgrounds. One consultant, the senior one, was loud and brash, and matched me note for note, and the other one was kind of bashful, but laughed along with everything. He was very sweet. He seemed a bit startled to be having such a good time. But, jesus, my co-workers are hysterical. And MEAN.

Okay, let me fire up the work laptop. And also call in and change my work outgoing voicemail message, fuck.

And I want to travelmarry the both of you. We would be very happy together with our one plus one mentality, plus we're very hot.

It would be efficient! And we could all be each other's alibi if we're on a flight with Alec Baldwin and he refuses to shut his phone and one of us (me!) is forced to kick him in the nads. Because ita has led me to believe it is a very satisfying (for me) and painful (for them) kick.

That reminds me, ita_! did you see this Octopus Pie? It made me think of you.

Ha! It is fun, whether the recipient is male or female.

The consultant told me that I was gangsta today, and the developer said "Yes, she's always threatening me." I felt a hair's breadth away from being called up to HR. Lordie. Things I didn't know.

I have just sent half a million detailed work emails. I hope that's enough. If anyone calls my cellphone, seriously, they need to get fucked up. And just because I will be getting my work email...doesn't mean shit.

I'm afraid I don't get this. It's a sex toy, apparently. But it couldn't look less like one. And most sex toys for boys are pretty simple, right?

Okay, I watched the video again, and I guess I get it. But I still think they're..I mean, they don't fall off, or anything?

I'm afraid I don't get this. It's a sex toy, apparently. But it couldn't look less like one.

I think that's the point.

It can be slipped into the pocket of your pants or in your briefcase without looking too revealing too. Thus they can be brought with you everywhere! We even received videos (which we can upload here) or men masturbating with a Tenga Egg while on a public bus ride (what a dare devil), and another man while driving (talk about safe sex!).