Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (A contest for bad fiction.)

The winner:

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.

Also, "At 26 words, Prof. Fondrie’s submission is the shortest grand prize winner in Contest history, proving that bad writing need not be prolix, or even very wordy."

Runner up:

As I stood among the ransacked ruin that had been my home, surveying the aftermath of the senseless horrors and atrocities that had been perpetrated on my family and everything I hold dear, I swore to myself that no matter where I had to go, no matter what I had to do or endure, I would find the man who did this . . . and when I did, when I did, oh, there would be words.

Many more awards and runners up for different categories.

Romance winner:

As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand—who would take her away from all this—and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had.

This reminds me of Douglas Adams:

The grisly scene before him was like nothing Detective Smith had ever seen before, but there were millions and millions of things he had never seen before, and he couldn't help but wonder which of them it was.

Zac Efron and Dennis Quaid greeting fans in Shabbona, IL. Friend of a friend heard that Dennis Quaid joined a country club in Shabbona possibly this one.

How they don't have LA's 405 is beyond me.

Well they have the 101. Really, not sure which is the most truly hellish of LA's freeways. I tend to hate both the 5 and the 405 with equal hate, although the 405 is far more useful to me.

Donner's Pass recreated with goldfish in NZ

[link]

Some time ago one of the government agency cafeterias became so notorious for its bad food that it was being called the Alfred Packer (Parker?) cafeteria (after the man of whom, at his sentencing, the judge said, "there were only four Democrats in the county and he et three of them").

One day someone called trying to make a reservation for a party, name of Donner.

The 405 is not that bad in a world with the 101.

Saddest movie ever. Not sure I've seen it.

I thought I had seen it, until I saw the scene in question and I gasped at how much sorrow was evident on the screen. Holy shit. If I had seen that whole movie and had been confronted with THAT as the final scene? I would have been done in. Just done in. No more tissues in the house.