But in my head that isn't the same as the blithe way rape gets tossed about in popular media.

My bugaboo is prison rape jokes, both in the media and by people in general. Like, people who wouldn't make a joke about any other type of rape, but easily make prison rape jokes. The logical conclusion is, then, that they do believe that rape is okay in *some* circumstances. And that is revolting to me.

Burrell, are you enjoying Stiff ?

I am, it definitely speaks to my morbid streak. Not sure about teaching it. I might pull a few essays and combine with some other stuff. I'd love to talk with you about your experiences teaching it.

But when you get to torture or abuse, I also get tetchy. Those are a whole different kettle of fish.

Yeah, those really ping me. I wasn't saying the rape depictions aren't problematic, all I was saying is that there are other problems, like torture, that I find similarly problematic. Which is guess is also my response to smonster.

OK, gotta go vote. There's a special election and a Tea Party candidate on the ballot. I'm afeared he might win. Yeeps!

The logical conclusion is, then, that they do believe that rape is okay in *some* circumstances. And that is revolting to me.

Sing it.

The thing that's been making me want to go all rantycakes about rape is, oddly enough, Tumblr. The "omg I want to rape him/her" commentary on some pictures that go scrolling by on my dashboard makes me want to shake those posters and lecture them.

Jilli, I used you here.

that they do believe that rape is okay in *some* circumstances. And that is revolting to me.

Absolutely. It's less of an issue when it happens to men, and that it's cool as tit for tat, or as "reparation" for violent crimes. NO. Bad thing. Always bad thing.

that they do believe that rape is okay in *some* circumstances. And that is revolting to me.

Absolutely. It's less of an issue when it happens to men, and that it's cool as tit for tat, or as "reparation" for violent crimes. NO. Bad thing. Always bad thing.

Yup. If it's okay as punishment, then it becomes more acceptable to use rape as a "corrective" tool for homosexuality or transsexuality. And then what? Spoils of war, of course. And then what? As a "corrective" tool to keep uppity women in line?

It's just revolting in any circumstance, and being okay with one, even if you feel it's extreme (i.e., prison rape as "deserved" punishment) opens up a whole world of other circumstances where it might be deemed "okay."

It's less of an issue when it happens to men, and that it's cool as tit for tat, or as "reparation" for violent crimes.

We sentence people to time in prison. We don't sentence them to rape, violence and dehumanization. If we intend to sentence them to rape, then it's cruel and unusual punishment. If that's not the plan, threatening people with the dysfunction of the prison system should not be part of any police interrogation.

I've read some horrifying studies where teen boys were interviewed and asked when it's okay to force your date to have sex (I believe the interviewers deliberately chose not to use the word "rape," to see if that affected their answers [although I don't know how you could measure that, unless there was a control group of demographically matched boys]). An astonishingly high number answered "When she doesn't want to have sex."

Yow. That makes my stomach hurt.

An astonishingly high number answered "When she doesn't want to have sex."

Well, duh. If she WANTS to, it's not forcing her!

(Dear lord...though I'd love to read that study)

This was almost 20 years ago, but my senior year I took a child development class. We watched Nova The Miracle of life, and it talked about arousal. The teacher took the time to stop the tape and explain that men get urges and they have to act on them, and that means rape. And a woman could walk by a man and something could turn him on and he would have to react (ie rape her).

We asked her several scenarios - like "if you were walking down the street all covered up and a man grabbed you and raped you, would it be your fault."

Answer - yes because I did something to cause him to do it.

She also was teaching middle school (this is a K-12 school) and I talked to some middle schoolers, she hadn't taught them that yet. But the handful of boys I told about her upset and they even said she was wrong.

She was a middle of the year hire and there were some other issues and she was fired before the end of the year.

She was a middle of the year hire and there were some other issues and she was fired before the end of the year.

Thank goodness!