So does someone skilled in office politics want to advise me? I just don't know what to do about My Nemesis.

To wit: the managers almost uniformly think the sun shines out her ass. However her pattern with people on her own level is to take as much work away from them as possible, so she looks really great, but do only that work which makes her look good to the managers, undercut her coworkers via slyly-worded emails, fail to update anyone on what she's doing, lie about whether she's getting the work done, lie about whether a project was hers if there's trouble associated with it, refuse to use the network or save any emails (so that nobody can tell whether she's working on anything), lie to clients and outside entities about the status of work, claim letters and emails never arrived, and jump forward to claim projects that look high-profile. To be fair, when she does get the work done, it's generally fine--but she can't possibly do it all.

The other day I sent her as politely-worded an email as I could, asking for the status of thirteen projects she was supposed to be doing for me. I cc'd my current boss (whose last day is today) and my apparently-future boss. She does not answer to either of them, but to the micro-managing former division chief who officially has no more power but who in fact still seems to be running the division.

And in the middle of that, she's taken on half the workload of a coworker who is retiring today. It's not physically possible for her to get all the work done she's taken on, but she keeps reaching for it! And the managers appear to think the place will fall apart if she leaves.

Whereas I think that it's really bad management to let anyone get that important to the function of the organization, because what if they get hit by a bus?

I don't want to get her fired, I just want to stop her from sabotaging me, and actually get my work done. So I can stop stewing over her and behaving like a petty high school student.

I have no idea what to do, because no matter how often I CC my boss on my exchanges with her, nothing happens. I try to document our exchanges, but it's so easy to see it as some sort of "personal dispute" instead of an orchestrated campaign to make herself appear indispensable and other people incompetent. And it's clear that nobody senior to me has any interest in actually managing her.

I guess vinegar is the only thing I'm particularly taste-sensitive to. After our office coffee maker has been washed out with it the coffee tastes unpleasantly sour to me for a couple of days. Meanwhile, I can't detect a difference between coffee made with bottled water and the tap water others object to.

Thankfully balsamic vinegar tastes fine to me in salad dressing, but I can't even stand the smell of the regular stuff.

Consuela, can you just ignore when she's "taking over" work that you know she'll never do, and then just make everyone know when you've done whatever it is? I don't know -- I've never figured out how to effectively deal with someone when the higher-ups think they shit rainbows.

Mmm, I love vinegar, I will occasionally just swig a shot of the good stuff. I also like to chew any sprigs of cilantro that get served as garnishes - I can take it or leave it as an ingredient, but I do like a sprig by itself. It tastes clean and grassy. Amych cannot have my ginger, even if she has the swords on her side. Nom.

Cashmere, I vote pie but I also came across a recipe for roast peaches recently that was super simple what with requiring no pastry making and sounded delicious. Basically, cut peaches in half, sprinkle the cut sides with sugar, fry in butter cut side down for a few minutes, stick the whole pan in a hot oven for a few more minutes.

can you just ignore when she's "taking over" work that you know she'll never do, and then just make everyone know when you've done whatever it is?

Not really, because some of it is work that is justifiably not mine to do: she is a real property specialist and she writes deeds and leases and stuff. I can't do that, it's not what I'm trained for. So I can't keep everything from her, and when I try, she often finds out and tries to grab it. In fact, she does stuff that is appropriately mine (having to do with the program I manage) and doesn't tell me--I am reduced to going through the outgoing mail files to discover what she's been up to, because she Will Not Tell Me what she's doing.

There was an email exchange about something I had accomplished this week, and she tried to grab the handling of that as well. It was quite remarkable.

The other day I sent her as politely-worded an email as I could, asking for the status of thirteen projects she was supposed to be doing for me.

Is it possible for you to (in future, at least) designate someone else to do the stuff you need? Maybe work it out with that person in advance so that when Nemesis tries to grab tasks, you can say, "No need, it's already arranged, they've budgeted their time for it, kthxbye."

You might need to get that blessed by the managers in advance as well, but it sounds like you want to minimize your own dealings with her, without presenting it as "I cannot work with this person." So you sell it as "So-and-so wanted to learn more about [thing I need soon] and it would obviously be an asset to us if she got that experience, I just wanted to clear that with you before it was official" or whatever.

the walnuts tasting like bitter despair business is cracking my shit up.

I have very sensitive tastebuds, but neither walnuts nor cilantro set me off. I cannot abide by anything pickled. at all. ever.

I love cilantro, but I'm a super-taster with most bitter tastes. Broccoli tastes like evil, I don't like dark chocolate, and I can only tolerate coffee if it's got a whole ton of milk mixed in. I have very particular tastes in beer that don't seem to conform to anything -- I know that I like Killian's Irish Red, and Yuengling is OK, and I hate the taste of every IPA I've ever tried. When I'm at a microbrewery, I usually get whichever one is mixed with some kind of fruit, since I usually like those.

My sister used to think cilantro tasted like soap, but then, a few weeks ago, she sent me an email that was something like, "Guess what! Cilantro doesn't taste like soap anymore! It tastes really good! I like it!"

I'd be careful, Consuela. Being right isn't going to help you much in a situation like this.

I'd try to figure out a way to post some kind of public calendar charting workflow for yourself, so people can see what you're doing and also make clear when it disappears into her orbit.

You won't benefit or win in a direct confrontation with her, or even trying to bring the situation to light.

I'd just try to have something public that shows what's going on without any sort of comment. It would have to be something that could justify having out there, and it can't be pointed at all. But that would provide some butt coverage.

Cilantro tastes like a sharp, almost-spicy version of parsley. I'll take Sophia's share in exchange for my share of tomato chunks, dill pickles, mushrooms, okra, cooked broccoli, cooked cauliflower....

My tastebuds are most sensitive (in a bad way) to tomato chunks. They're incredibly bitter. Yet, oddly enough, I'm fine with ketchup and most tomato-based spaghetti sauces.