Allyson - check your email in 5-10 minutes, okay? I am on a mission to SELL YOUR BOOK and have a couple of questions. You give me answers, I'll do all the work.

I think I am biting the inside of my cheek in my sleep.

I'm calling Book People in Austin to see about flying down there when the bats come back to the bridge in spring.

Anyone's qualified to give them something to color.

Oh, sure. The part that is sticking in my brain is the, "how do you intend to sell books?"

WTF?

"how do you intend to sell books?"

"I shall dress as a bedraggled bat and go up to each and every customer in your store and beg them to buy the book or else I won't be able to eat. If they're unwilling to buy the book, I'll ask if they any insects on them that I could eat."

Allsyon, he is *buying* books from you to stock, and then ringing them up, right? He's not letting you sell books yourself?

Which would be a little odd, but could happen, because a reading is still going to get customers into the store, where they could buy bookstore books, as well.

Anyone's qualified to give them something to color.

I'm not. I wouldn't know what to give them.

I guess I underget how much authors have to do on their own to sell books. It really looks like they want MPD. Writing a book is hard enough. Knowing how to engage kids is a whole non-contiguous set of specialty.

He's not letting you sell books yourself?

From the email, I have no idea. I responded:

Usually when I do a reading, the store purchases copies from the publisher/distributor, I read, answer questions from the audience, and then sign books. I'm kind of puzzled. I'm an author, not a teacher. I do have goody bags I hand out to kids with bat toys and treats. I'm not sure I understand.

Some publishers will sell books at a much lower discount to authors than bookstores. If a bookstore wants to help out an author they will sometimes let them sell these copies, which yields the author a lot more per book than royalties on the books the bookstore sells. The email sounded dickish, so I doubt that it is what they had in mind, but in theory the question about how to sell books could be an offer to cut the bookstore profits (by having you sell the books directly rather than having the bookstore buy them) in order that you make more money. Orca books, a local bookstore in Olympia, does that all the time - in part as a way luring authors to speak in our little town.

I guess I underget how much authors have to do on their own to sell books.

It's Onerous Task Number One for authors these days. Publishers want to know that you're going to do as much as possible, that they don't have to pay for, to publicize.

Which is why people who can afford it hire publicists, but I don't know a lot of authors who can do that.