Brenda, it sounds like an honest email asking a favor. A pain in the ass request, sure, but she asked really nicely it seems? I don't know the backstory though - maybe she's really a jerk-off?

Oh, she's being completely sincere and not trying to be all drama queen. She's really very sweet.

I just don't know how I'm going to open my mouth around here. It's like one of my primary communication (not to mention coping) mechanisms is being cut off!

brenda should be able to say whateverthefuck she wants.

Not at work, no. If she'd been saying (excuse the besmirching) motherfucking faggot immigrant cocksuckers, I'd feel perfectly complacent about asking for her to stop, and I might not even go to her.

Boss just caught me drawing at my desk. Know what? Lunchtime. It's a thing.

those I've encountered who claim Zeus as their deity don't seem to give a shit if someone swears by him.

I'm cool with it. And if Zeus feels differently, well, He's the one with the thunderbolts.

If the original email had come to me, I'd probably go along with it. The person seemed to be reasonably polite, compared to the, "How could you take the name of our Savior in vain you vile heathen I will pray for you as you writhe in the unquenchable flames of hell," kinda comment. Which I've heard before, so I'm inclined to encourage the more polite asks.

In any case, I love the idea of switching to "motherfucker" instead. You know, out of respect.

I may have to do that. My sister suggested I start going all Quebec. Tabernac! Or maybe, TABERNAC, MOTHERFUCKER!

I just don't know how I'm going to open my mouth around here. It's like one of my primary communication (not to mention coping) mechanisms is being cut off!

Understandable! Now I am trying to figure out, if you start to say "Jesus", what you can segue into..."Jellyfuck!"?

Also, when she did report to me directly I really tried to be more careful, or at least more seruptitious about it. I think I've just backslid.

Okay, you could always swear by giving Zeus cooking lessons!

"Hey Zeus, Crisco!"

I think it was a polite email, if an unusual request. I've retrained myself to swear in Spanish or Swedish, depending on which speakers are surrounding me. Spanish has loads of great swears but there do tend to be a lot of Spanish speakers/understanders about. Swedish is a better bet for me.

And then there's the chance to invent more creative invective in English. We tend to rely heavily on the same 7 dirty words and it's a bit tired. I have also been critiquing my use of misogynistic stuff like "son of a bitch" - it's the person you want to insult, what does their mom have to do with it?

I think it's why the Orbit commercial is so damned funny. It doesn't matter as much what the people are saying, it's the intention behind it that counts. [link]

I am so tired of morons.

I am so tired of morons.

Maybe we can march them off to rocket ships to colonize Mars?