Congrats, Nora!

Yay Nora! Psychic income is very good.

I don't have any nifty swearing other than "slimy cuntmuscle," which tends to be fairly specific.

I did learn a couple nice descriptive phrases recently: "Fanny pelmet" for a micromini skirt, and "two-bit slapper" for the lady wearing it.

I forgot to say YAY EMPLOYED NORA!!! That sounds like a great organization, and a great fit for you!

"You should get a job as a proctologist since you're always up my ass."

I am stealing this for future use.

I've actually also heard people get all up on their high horse if the waiter does break the bills.

Because it's seen as a "hint" for a tip.

Congrats, Nora!

At the club I go to on Friday nights, the bartenders all give change in the smallest bills possible, and I know it's because they want to make it easy for drunk patrons to tip. Which I think is very smart of them.

I like jackhole in mixed company. Not technically a bad word, but everyone knows what you mean.

I generally tip 20%, but I've always thought that tying tip to the cost of the food is weird. I mean, if I order the $20 entree and you order the $10 burger, and we're dining together, am I really getting service that's twice as good?

But I understand that tying it to cost of food makes it easy to calculate, vs. a set amount. Still, it's odd.

Yay, Nora! (And you never sucked.)

For some reason, all the bad drivers I yell at are shitheads, even though it's a term I otherwise rarely use.

Today I realized another wonderful thing about a dog: a dog will never ask you for free tech support.

I now call people "assbutt" a lot. But only in my head. If I ever said it out loud I would crack up laughing. And possibly explode.

I generally tip 20%, but I've always thought that tying tip to the cost of the food is weird. I mean, if I order the $20 entree and you order the $10 burger, and we're dining together, am I really getting service that's twice as good?

But I understand that tying it to cost of food makes it easy to calculate, vs. a set amount. Still, it's odd.

It's totally odd.

But I understand that tying it to cost of food makes it easy to calculate, vs. a set amount. Still, it's odd.

It's totally odd.

I'm trying to think of other services for which I tip, and whether they're tied to the amount of money I spend. I think I do tip roughly 20% when I get my hair cut. When I've checked my bags curbside at the airport, I've tipped the dude $1 a bag, but it's been a while since I've flown anywhere; maybe that's too low these days.

I tip more than 20% when I eat some place where my total is less than $10, because I just think less than $2 is a lousy tip if I'm sitting at your table and you're bringing me food and drink.