I've been in a rut all year long, but I think I'm finally getting past it. I've got my health decision made, my application in for school, and I'm finishing off my performance review self-evaluation today. The fact that I've stopped procrastinating on some things is making me feel much better about myself, to the point that I'm almost chipper!

Oh, I've been following the health care legislation debate - I know that's been depressing me too.

Count me in the disconnected crowd. Ever since I found out my office was closing I've been completely at sea.

Good luck Kathy!

A co-worker and I were just talking to each other about it, both feel out-of-sync. I know mac does and then another friend mentioned it also. Wondering if it is just the seasonal shift hitting us all hard this year or if just coincidence that were all a bit off with friends and associates/life.

I don't know if it's out of sync, but everyone at work seems to be in this strange low-energy place, even our boss. I am definitely struggling to get feel normal. I've been blaming it on this cold, which I can't entirely shake.

I feel up and down, I think. Maybe I'm still figuring out how to be a useful and functional adult.

Today is going to be a slow work day. Oy.

I've felt disconnected for a while now, but I lay the blame squarely on 70+ hour work weeks and not having time to socialize with anyone aside from a biweekly pop-in at my parents' and one phone call with my best friend on my birthday. Aside from that posting here late at night and yelling profanities at other drivers have been my only social outlets.

After eighteen months of out-of-syncness, I'm now finally feeling as if everything's falling into place. The fact that the book contract and house contract all fell into place in the same week I'm sure has a lot to do with it.

Now if I could just physically start feeling a LOT better, it would all be great. (Which I think will happen, now that mentally, I'm in a better place. Before, I was just sort of plodding along.)

I'm on an upswing, I think. I have to keep reminding myself to try not slide down, but that's working, which it doesn't always.

A co-worker and I were just talking to each other about it, both feel out-of-sync. I know mac does and then another friend mentioned it also. Wondering if it is just the seasonal shift hitting us all hard this year or if just coincidence that were all a bit off with friends and associates/life.

Dear doG, me too.

I even had a terribly disconnecting incident with my 'surrogate mom' last week that is vexing my heart in ways I can't quite let go of. We've been friends for 24 years. At that time, she and her husband held an 'adoption' ceremony and I later went on to live with them for 7.5 years.

She's been there with me, and for me in the midst of amazingly trying/interesting times. I've never thought of her as anything but my mom. So much more than any blood relative.

Last Monday, right after my friend's funeral (which was perfectly beautiful and painful), we chatted about a minor medical procedure she will be having soon. I fussed at her a little bit for not calling me to help. I live 15 miles away. The daughter who will be coming lives in CA.

I stayed with her two weeks ago for a similar procedure but she said that she just asked 'family' for help, not me.

I guess it was this disconnected thing, and the sad timing, but sheesh, that felt bad. I know my feelings are my responsiblity and we aren't really family...but after nearly a quarter of a century, I guess I just took it for granted.

Urg. Sorry for the self-pity. It's just been eating at me. t /whining.

On the plus side... despite us having the rainiest October in like three decades, I've managed to ride my bike to work a few times a week. I've actually lost some weight, as I've been able to tighten my belt more than before. Plus I have more physical energy and feel less stressed on days I ride my bike.

This morning it was 35, but I rode my bike anyway and didn't get too cold....