No, loving nonsense poetry and Edward Lear to death doesn't help me with omnis' post.

A local sports guy used to write a baseball column called "Trouble If It's Fair," which I thought was a great name.

Infield Fly Rule (That just makes me laugh. Skip Caray used to do a talk show and someone asked about the infield fly rule at least once every show. He lost his temper over it frequently. He developed an explanation that he would say very fast in about 10 seconds. People would ask about it just to make him mad. I'm having a lot of trouble facing baseball season without Skip and Pete Van Wieren, who announced his retirement shortly after Skip's death. I guess after 33 years, it's hard to think about breaking in a new play-by-play partner.)

On Deck

Designated Hitter (but only if it's a metaphor)

No Crying in Baseball

Long Season

Sliding Home

Choking Up

In The Gap

Flight of the Enchanted Tater

(Okay, that last one is the name my stepdad and brother gave to a hit that's just *drilled* over the wall.)

I took one of my closest friends to a Giants/Dogs baseball game in 2002 at Pacific Bell Park. David is English, and just learning the game of beisbol. He asked a lot of questions, which made it fun for me, and was soaking it all in.

In the 2nd or 3rd inning, Schmidt got one of the Dodgers to hit into a double play. I turned to David and said, "that's a double play, and it's also called 'a pitcher's best friend'" and he nodded seriously.

The 7th inning comes and another Dodger hits into a double-play. By this time, the people in the stands near us know David's been learning the game, and have been ribbing himm and quizzing him.

I turn to David and say, "that play?? What's it also called??" Without missing a beat, he loudly proclaims "a pitcher's favorite whore!"

He Balked!

It's a dribbler down first

Lost it in the lights

Touch them all

Moment in the sun

Field of Dreams (I know, it's taken already, but if you think of it in a "plowing" sense... ok, nevermind)

Glad He's not on Steroids (with one of those cheesey covers you linked to earlier, his backside, looking through his legs and seeing a pleased look on her face)

Oh god, tell me your not doing a football book. Listening to Madden talk on gameday is enough to make me snicker like a 12 y.o. for half the game.

All I can think of is stuff like "From Way Downtown, Bang!" Which, okay, wrong sport, and graphic besides.(Well, in this context, maybe)

Oh god, tell me your not doing a football book. Listening to Madden talk on gameday is enough to make me snicker like a 12 y.o. for half the game.

Don't tempt me...

LOVE the baseball talk. Ummmmm, baseball.

ION, chores are bad for your (or at least my) health. I was cleaning out the refrigerator and stood up quicking, crashing my head into the freezer handle. There was blood and now it feels like I have an ostrich egg on my forehead. Of course, I'm not done with the fridge, but oh well.

I took one of my closest friends to a Giants/Dogs baseball game in 2002 at Pacific Bell Park. David is English, and just learning the game of beisbol.

At the SF2F, Suzi got us tickets to the A's game, and Fay went along; it was obviously her first (and possibly will be her only) baseball game. I remember Hec explaining it to her in terms of LoTR characters.

I remember Hec explaining it to her in terms of LoTR characters.

Awesome. And perfect.