I know the email's already sent but for future reference: I learned in career counseling a good way to ask the "what did I do wrong" question is "Could you tell me what it was about the person you did hire that made them the ideal candidate for the position?"

Oh, Tep, good on you for telling that lovely story. Hugs and tequila and any other comfort you need.

And Nora, I'm still holding out small amounts of hope for Tom and the job. Is it somewhere in academia? Because if so, and if it's anything like the corner of academia where I work, it's entirely possible that they're still considering him but are wrangling over some mostly unrelated university budget snarl that's gumming things up. Two years ago I interviewed for a job at my uni that, as far as I know, is still open and for which I'm still the top candidate, two years later; they just haven't gotten approval from the PTB for both the job title and the actual physical workspace.

Hil, I... I just boggle, really. I no longer have any idea what to make of your uni. I'm sure it's full of brilliant people (they wanted you there, so, obviously), but every story you tell is a worse example than the last one of total basic social interaction Fail.

And, bluh. On the inappropriate religious butting-in, I am the perfect inverse of everyone here. Out on the Left Coast, I'm all Christian but feminist/anti-Prop 8/crunchy/lefty/whatnot but I also try never, ever to discuss religion with anyone unless they bring it up first. I work like hell to be non-proselytizing, non-judgy and non-obnoxious, and damn if I can ever manage to get through one week without someone snarking at me or cracking a joke or making a giant sweeping statement about creepy baby-raping religious thugtard morons and isn't that a knee-slapping riot? One person at work makes these cracks even knowing that I'm practicing and that I'm just on the other side of the cubicle wall.

I pretty much always just suck it up since after all I do belong to an institution that, whatever I think about its founder, has been run for a millenium plus by spectacularly flawed and frequently cruel humans who've caused a lot of pain for a lot of people, and my little bit of irritation is pretty damn small potatoes. Just, sometimes I do wish they'd put a sock in the snark until they're out in the hall.

Anyone else having trouble with LJ?

And, bluh. On the inappropriate religious butting-in, I am the perfect inverse of everyone here. Out on the Left Coast, I'm all Christian but feminist/anti-Prop 8/crunchy/lefty/whatnot but I also try never, ever to discuss religion with anyone unless they bring it up first. I work like hell to be non-proselytizing, non-judgy and non-obnoxious, and damn if I can ever manage to get through one week without someone snarking at me or cracking a joke or making a giant sweeping statement about creepy baby-raping religious thugtard morons and isn't that a knee-slapping riot? One person at work makes these cracks even knowing that I'm practicing and that I'm just on the other side of the cubicle wall.

I'm sorry you go through this. One of my direct reports is a commited evangelical of the rightward leaning kind - though not a proselytizer, at least not at the office. And I work really hard to make sure that even though we have diametrically opposing views on pretty much everything, she doesn't feel in any way marginalized or critiqued.

It gets up my nose sometimes, but I'm working on just ignoring it. Of course the problem with that is that often the snark is immediately followed by some instruction to me to do something-or-other, which I don't hear because I was busy aggressively not listening to the snark, and then I get scolded for not listening.

Gee, I love my office!

yuck JZ. Thanks for the reminder that religious != bad. I can be one of the snarky ones sometimes.

::Note to self: Don't rail about the Catholic church until after Labor Day::

Don't rail about the Catholic church until after Labor Day

So you won't get blood on your white shoes?

So you won't get blood on your white shoes?

Well, it would be painful if my wife stabbed me in the heart with a really sharp #2 pencil.

I can be one of the snarky ones sometimes.

Ehn. I know there's plenty to snark about; but it does make me nuts when people do it in the workplace. My most dearly beloved former boss firmly believes that all organized religion is a blight on human civilization and needs to be actively discouraged; but he and I have also had calm, respectful discussions about it and he has snarked about it in front of me exactly once. Which I quietly called him on, and he's never done it since. Off campus, away from me and one other religious staffer, and far away from the patients or their families, sure, but at work, on the clock, he doesn't do it. He loathes religion, but he respects me and he respects the workplace as a neutral space.

It's not that hard. It's common courtesy. And I swear someday I'm gonna jump on a plane and shake everyone at Hil's uni until their eyes rattle, screaming, "Haven't you assholes ever heard of Thumper's mother?"