What the heck is a "certified change manager" and why am I in a conference call with some?
They are fine, upstanding individuals who have taken the initiative and time to fill a badly needed role in our society, Raq. These, dare I say bold...nay heroic men and women have gone forth and gotten themselves actually and legitimately certified to provide you with the much needed small currency you need to acquire palatable goods from your local vending machines.
As to why you are on the phone with them, I would imagine you are in quest of a bag of Crunchy Cheetos and a Diet Dr. Pepper, but are, alas, overburdened with folding money in large denominations. If you are successful with your call, though, can you grab me a Hostess Cupcakes and a Mountain Dew?
I'll have a local certified change manager take my $5, turn it into something more useful, and forward the appropriate amount to you by no later than Tuesday next.