dog ma~~~ Ginger!

Why am I still awake? And why am I reading about Chandra Levy? Now, in addition to everything else I've been worried about, I'm also scared to walk or bike on any trail that's not visible from the street, and convinced that, if I did disappear, the DC police department wouldn't have any clue how to find me.

I went into the kitchen to find food and came back with fernet and ginger ale. There is salt water taffy and a bag of potato chips on this desk. Hmmm...

OK I whipped up some dubious soup. Hil, I hope you got some shut-eye.

I know I'm more relaxed and able to preform better at work/studies when I know I have a clean house to go back to, but whatever works for you, Hil. I think WindSparrow's offer is also good.

And I hope you'll get some sleep.

Dear Fucking God.

I know I bitched about my friend, and I got answers and confirmation from you, and I shouldn't bitch more until I'll get the guts to do something about it.

But.

The understanding between us, when the whole thing started, is that as a freshwoman I have the time to talk with her 1-2 times per week. That's all.

This week, we talked on Sunday, she emailed on Monday (didn't answer that) and today (Tuesday here), she asks (by text-messages) if I have few minutes for her today (read: at least 15-20 minutes conversation) and if everything between us is OK, because I didn't answer her email from yesterday.

Seriously? I had no words. More like feelings of anger and despair from her and the feeling she's disrespecting me. I was over 12 hours yesterday in uni, for the love of God. I barely have the time to cook or eat, even stuff that takes 10-20 minutes to make. I don't need more stress!

I reminded her the original terms, and she replied that she just thought I'll write her that I got the email, or just will write something by now. I replied that any sort of communication counts, and if I had the time for it, I'd rather to answer fully.

I guess the treating the other person as a child goes both ways. Hell, I treat little humans better any day.

Edit: I just sent her the next email:
"In case I didn't make myself clear on the text-messages, I have no time to do this at the moment. And you say "OK", but you don't act so.

We said we'll talk 1-2 per week. [here I wrote all of our communications this week]. This isn't pressure I can handle, and I said so at the very beginning, and I don't think it's fair towards me.

I may be a control-freak, but this also means I'm perfectly in charge of my own life. And if I say I have the time to do something, then I have it, and if not - then not. You told me you know that, but it doesn't show from your behavior towards me. Checking with me daily/every other day makes me feel like a child who has to be supervised, not like a relationship between two grown-up friends who respect each other's word. You know that when I have the time, I call you.

So I just don't get it. It seems to me frustrating and unfair, so correct me if I'm wrong. There's a good chance I respond like this because I'm having a really busy week (and writing this to you instead of writing a paper), but I see it as lack of trust, which is something that truly hurts my feelings."

Too much?

Ugh, Shir. Sorry I don't have any advice.

Huge rain storm just started here. Really loud thunder, and it's pouring. I've never heard thunder like this, and it's like the sky just opened up.

... rain? Really?

Here, we're just having another heatwave. Joy.

The dog and DH are sleeping through the thunderstorms, which is impressive.

Ginger, I'm so happy that Mr Peabody is out of surgery. Burning in Hell may be too good for the asshole who injured him in the first place.

I had to go into work yesterday for a couple of hours and was completely exhausted by the effort. Unfortunately, I now have to do it on Thursday and next Monday, so I'm dreading having to find something to wear and being on time and stuff.

Yeah, the thunderstorm woke me up early. It was great! Then I remembered that the contractor who's coming today to do the radon remediation doesn't have my new phone number, and even if he did it wouldn't matter because I've already broken my phone.

So I had to get up and turn on the computer for skype.

I'm dreading having to find something to wear and being on time and stuff.

Ugh...I'm still not good at either of these.

Ginger, glad Mr. Peabody's OK. And I think that guy should repeatedly have lighter fluid poured on him and lit.